PutYourFlareOn

Our life revolves around the café kitchen

Touched

I arrived to work today to find this lovely bouquet of flowers waiting for me. These flowers were sent to me by a faithful reader of my blog who goes by the name of Tiffany.  Thank you so much! What a wonderful surprise to find these this morning. My eyes stung with happy tears as I read your very sweet note.  This bouquet quickly found it's home on one of my wooden tables. 

Again, thank you, Tiffany.  I am overwhelmed by your gesture.  I hope have a cup of tea with you someday soon.

First day, recap.

My first offical day open went very, very well. I was a little late arriving to the cafe so my plan to make my gateau au chocolate fondant in the morning for the day did not work out. I had just enough time to finish taking out the boxes from our tea deliveries (note to self, take care of stuff like this the night before!) before my delivery of salé for the lunch menu arrived and I needed to put everything away.  Elle arrived with the fresh fruits and veggies for the day and then quickly ran back out to the boulangerie for our daily bread run and pick up a lovely tarte aux rhubarbe we ordered the night before. We chopped, and sliced and washed and spun and laughed and worked together like a team. It was so great. 

Then right at 11am my first customer arrived. It was my friend, Lisa. Very fitting that Lisa be my first customer because she was there from the very, very beginning on that day we went to Sunday brunch at the café  and I saw the sign that said fond de commerce à vendre.

Lisa is a writer and as you know writers need a constant stream of coffee/tea and sweets to keep the pen moving.  She's found her spot, in the window. What I call the pink table, my favorite table cloth I've made so far. Lisa wrote a lovely blog about her visit and you can read about it here.  And she snapped some candid shots of me getting things prepared for the day.  It was a lovely way to start the day.  I have her first euros she spent on her Yogi Chai. I must figure out how to frame that. :) 

I had not seen the day come to an end. Working in the café is so different than the jobs I'm used to. I was tired when I got home. It was a physical fatigue not a mental one.  I remember days when I'd get home from my office job where I had spent hours in front of the computer, I felt brain dead and wanted to do nothing but shut down. But last night, I felt mentally energized.  This must be what it's like to work and live your dream. My feet need some time adjusting and I need to invest in some good hand lotion. I washed lots and lots of tea pots yesterday.

Today, is my day off during the week. Thursdays are what I call Max and Mama days.  We got up early (he is my alarm clock) and had breakfast and then headed to the Prefacture de Police and applied for our liquor license.  I called and got Internet installed in the café.  I ran across Paris and got my "lost" package of fabrics which are destine to become table cloths. I even got to take a nap with Max which was so lovely. I know that Thursdays will become a day I cherish from now

There is a huge mound of laundry that needs to be folded. Julien has graciously started in but I better go and help so that maybe we get to bed early tonight. Which means before midnight for once...

À demain from the café... via Twitter, bien sûr.

 

Butterflies

I've got them. Big time. I feel like it's the first day of school or something. You know how you lay out your outfit for the first day of school. Well, I did the exact same thing. Threadless tee. Black skirt. Haven't decided on the shoes yet but I'll probably wear my old standard Converse All Stars.

The café fridge is packed. We have two of the three shipments of tea. We have good coffee. I'm going to make a mini fondant au chocolat this morning. I think we're ready to go...

I'll be twittering today from my cell phone as we do not have Internet.... yet. 

Have a good day, everyone! And if you're in Paris, stop by and say hi and stay a while. :)

It's official!

Today has been the longest day ever.  My feet are swollen from all the running around today. Les impots, la banque, les impots, Metro, the lawyers office....  My head is swimming in fatigue. My cuticals are in a horrible state due from all the stress. But it's all over now... we've signed the sale of the café. The owner has officially passed the keys to me. The keys to my dream!

We shopped (in awe) at Metro today and bought supplies and goodies for the café. Tomorrow, the café will be closed. The passation de pouvoir  will occur with the previous owner. She has graciously stayed in town to help me with the register and to let me in on any little astuces that us café owners need to know.  Wednesday, April 2nd is my first official day open. Will there be a poisson d'avril waiting for me? I guess we'll have to wait and see... So, please come by and visit and stay awhile.  The address of the café can be found here. And information on how to get there here. This is just a little blog I pulled together about the life around the café. And I will exercise my French writing skills, so be kind!

I'm off to enjoy mes coup de champagne with Julien. And get some rest... starting tomorrow, I'm a full time working mama in my own café!!! I can hardly believe it!!

And there are hard days...

I dropped Max off at Tata's. He was quietly sitting in his stroller as we approached her door.  The hallway dark as I hadn't tripped the minuterie to light the way.  I stood for a second before turning on the light but then Tata opened the door and was waiting for us.  She greeted us with a warm smile and reached out to get Max out of the stroller. She glanced at me and her face changed. I guess I wasn't hiding my feelings very well. I was wearing my emotions like a huge billboard across my forehead. 

Just a few minutes before arriving to Tata's, Max and I strolled through the park by her apt and I saw a group of older women practicing Tai Chi.  The build of these women, the way they held their hands and the way they fixed their hair reminded me so much of my mother. One woman in particular was intrigued by my presence and she studied my face. A smiled appeared and she waved. I smiled back shyly and I felt the tears stinging my eyes. Any one of those women could have been my mother. I wished that she was one of them.

Tata motioned for me to come in and I went and sat down on the her couch as she filled me in on the day's activities. Max was going to be Tata's only charge for the day as the other two children were on vacation.  I hugged Max to begin the goodbye process and he grasped tightly to my coat.  Tata watched but mostly looking at me, studying my face.  I felt the tears rising. I quickly stood up and I said "bye bye" to Max and he waved and said, "Ba, ba, Ma Ma". Before I ever realized it I was crying. I rushed for the door because I did not want Tata to see me upset.  When I am missing my mother and someone asks me what's wrong, I can not lie and say it's something else. I tell them that my mother died and I miss her. But responses like this make people uncomfortable so I try to avoid them if I can.  She stood in the doorway, shielding Max with her shoulder. I stood in the dark hallway pressing the elevator button as sheets of tears streamed down my face.  As I turned to bid them goodbye,  Tata quickly mentioned that Max shouldn't see me upset because that would only upset him. But I looked back at Max with tears in my eyes and he smiled and reached out for me. Giving me a sympathetic smile. One I've seen so many times when I am sad and missing my mom.  I said, "bye bye" and let the elevator door close.

Should I let Max see me upset? Of course, he should see me upset.  If anything, Max has seen the entire array of emotions that I own.  I don't cry everyday but I do cry most days. I miss my mom and I tell Max that everyday. We look at her photo and I talk about her to him. He clutches the photo and gives it kisses. I honestly believe he  understands. 

In the afternoon, I went to pick up Max and he was so excited to see me. He held his arms out to me, letting me falls into them as I inhaled his sweet baby scent.  The melancholia of today just seemed to melt away in that moment.  Walking home in the rain as my Converse sloshed and my wool coat hung heavy on my shoulders, I felt better. I imagined my mom if I had the chance to tell her about the cafe and I could see her reaction. Her clap and little jump that she'd do when she was excited about something. And before I knew it I was imitating her. I was standing in front of Max in the stroller clapping and jumping and Max broke into a series of baby giggles and clapped himself. 

I will never hide my feelings from Max. Omma never hid hers from me and that is one of the strongest memories I keep of her.

Busy, busy...

We are less than one week away from the final signature for the sale on the café.  Time is standing still. But as I feel like things are moving so slowly I can't shake this feeling that I won't get everything done before April 1.  I have lists. My lists have lists. My Moleskine is a huge mess. Note to self: get colored tab thingies for my Moleskine.

Today was Maximilien's first day with the nanny. She refers to herself as Ta Ta to the children. This is the adaptation week so Max only spent an hour with her today while I stayed on. Tomorrow I will leave him for two hours.  Friday he will spend a half day with her. Next week on Monday he will spend most of the day with her and try to take a nap and then Tuesday is his first full day alone with Ta Ta.  Max knows something is going on.  He's been giving Julien and I hugs and wanting us to hold him a lot lately.  I've been telling him everyday about Ta Ta and that I will go back to work.  This change in his routine will be hard for him but I am hopeful he will become acclimated to it very soon.  The café will be open 7 days a week. I have Thursdays off and will keep Max with me.

I can already tell this will be hard for me. Even today just sitting there watching Max play with the other children I felt very melancholy but kept it to myself the best I could. Ta Ta apparently could tell and said to me as we were leaving that it will get easier and that I can call and check on Max as much as I wanted to. I really do like her.

So, what's left to do?

- I have appointments with the Prefacture de Police to obtains liquor licenses and to get authorization for my terasse. Yes, there will be champagne sipping on my terasse this summer!

- I have declarations to make at Les Impots, Urssaf and Assedic. I will be getting my fill of French administrative offices in the coming week!

- I must call my tea suppliers and make my first orders for tea this week.

- Apply for my Métro card. Apparently Métro is similar to Sam's or Costco in the US but only   for people who own their own businesses.

- Figure out shelving for the café's cave which has very old walls that will not hold anything.

- I am waiting on an order of fabric so I can quickly sew up some table cloths.

- Decide on what desserts I'd like to serve the first week. I am thinking carrot cake and a chocolate cake. Maybe muffins, too.

- Oh, and sign a huge check over and receive the keys to my café!

I may not be blogging much in the coming week(s) but I am Twittering. My cell phone has internet access (I am what my friend calls hyper-connected) and I have been twittering quite a lot lately.  Something I twittered tonight I though I'd post here:

  Tweet me some titles to add to my play list for the cafe. What are you guys into these days?

Twitter me back or leave me a comment. I'm paying the radio tax to play music in my café (yes, there is a tax to play music in own business!) so I am loading up my iPod with fresh new play lists. What would you want to hear playing in your café?

12 mois

Dear Maximilien,

Today, you are one years old. A year ago at this moment I sat in my hospital room looking at you sleeping in my arms feeling scared. Today, I feel comfortable in my new role and embrace it full everyday.  Last night after you went to bed, your father and I sat and talked about about how it's been a year already since you were born. We both couldn't believe how fast the 12 months had passed.  I can't explain to you the happiness that you've graced me with your existence, Max. It is so much bigger than anything I could ever dream of. 

 

 

The last few months you've really been showing off your personality. You are to me the happiest baby I know. You are always smiling even when you're sad. You are like your mother in that you change your mood at the drop of  a hat.  One moment you're happy the next, you are frustrated. Then you will be sad and then very zen. You'll make a face and then you will be affectionate.

 

Though you can not speak yet, your expressions speak loud and clear.  You can express yourself verbally. You say, "hello" and "ba ba" for goodbye. You say "door" when we are getting read to go out.  Of course, you say "Ma Ma" and "Da Da". And I think today you said "shooo" as I put on my converse today. You amaze me everyday. Just today, you did something you've never done before. We went to get you your first pair of shoes. You will be walking soon and your nanny has requested that you have proper walking shoes. She intends on getting you up and going on those two legs of yours. We went to the store and tried on two pairs of shoes.

   

The first pair didn't bother you at all. The second pair caused you to throw yourself down on the floor and kick and scream in a manner that I had never seen before. As I sat stunned on the couch I didn't know what to do? Either to get my camera and take a photo (it was almost comedic the way you were acting) or start worring.  But this just shows me that you have a strong personality, Max. And naturally, I am intrigued. Will this be a preview of your second year of life? I guess we'll just have to wait and see.

I type this letter with a slightly heavy heart. Starting April 1 you will spend 4 days a week with your nanny. I will go back to work. I am at the same time excited to start this new adventure in running my own cafe and scared to leave you.  I have so cherished this last year because it was our special time together.  But I feel in my heart that you are ready to go on your own adventure as well. When I see you around other children there is a light in your eyes that I don't see when we're home together. Sure, you are excited to see me after each nap and when we play you squeal with delight. But when you play with other kids I see you suddenly in a different light. I see you starting to stretch your independence. And I know that I must let you go a little...

So many adventures we've shared in the last year... this new year of life will be even more exciting.

Happy Birthday to my spring baby.

Love,
Mama

 

Ok, it's really hit me now...

Today I went to the café (though not officially mine until the end of the month) and got to know the employee I am inheriting with the sale.  For the sake of her privacy, we'll just call her Elle.  She's young, honest and sweet.  She was nervous and that put me at ease because I was nervous too.  I think that we are going to get along just fine.

Once I arrived I took a moment to walk around and take in this moment. The café was quiet as it hadn't officially opened for the day so the blinds were pulled shut and the lamps still turned off.  I went over and stood at the door and looked out at the pietons passing by and wondered who would be the first to come in? In the main window the for sale sign was still hanging. I took sweet pleasure in taking that sign down. While we were still negotiating prices and playing the waiting game, I'd walk by the tea house and stand from afar to get a glimpse of my dream all the while that little sign silently taunting me.  I folded it up and put it in my bag to save.

Upon seeing the for sale sign gone, customers starting coming in and asking if the place was no longer for sale. It was surreal to introduce myself to these customers whom I later found out were almost daily regulars.  They checked me out. One peeking over her glasses the other with a half smile on her face, "Ah, c'est vous l'Americaine?!" That made me smile.  Elle knew them by name and where they lived.  They immediately started requesting that their favorite teas be reinstated as soon as possible. Much of the stock had been exhausted because the sale of the tea house took longer than anticipated.  I reassured them. Gave them my word and they bid me goodbye but with the promise that they would be back to check very, very soon. I got butterflies in my stomach.

For the next few weeks I will go to work in my own café and learn every little bit that I can.  I have my Moleskine handy and I am taking notes. Jotting down the things that I must change or things that I must absolutely keep. Tomorrow, I am bringing my real camera... I need visual notes.

There was a moment  when Elle had to run an errand and I was left all alone. The tea house was empty for the moment only radio Nova keeping me company.  I stood behind the kitchen/bar looking out into the room and it hit me in a huge wave. Tears welled in my eyes. I quickly sat down on the stool and caught my breath. I peeked over the bar once more and looked around. And again, the wave hit me like a Kansas gale and I quickly ducked down in case someone came in.  My dream. It's real.  Tears welling in my eyes right now as I type this... the feeling is still so raw in my mind. 

Slow Month: Revisited

As you know I did a slow month which started on February 4th. In my original declaration, I stated that I was not going to grocery shop for the entire month.  My consumerism side of my personality had just gotten way out of control. I needed to reality check. A lock down on my carte bleue .  I just needed to stop. The first day, I realized we didn't have bread. I didn't have yeast to make bread and this was one thing my husband was going to have a hard time being without. Riana has pointed out to me the electricity that would have been used to make the bread would have cost more than the baguette we could buy at our local boulangerie.  This got me thinking about our electricity consumption and I started to realize that I have  a bad habit of leaving the lights on. Our electricity bill came and it was over 200 euros. I was floored. 

As I became more aware of our consumption habits, I made an effort to change.  I am trying to cut the number of loads of laundry I do by 1/4.  I wear my clothes for another week or two. I still have the habit of throwing them in the wash after only wearing them a couple times. I'm really not that messy of a person unlike my son who spends his day crawling around on the floor.  But cutting my laundry down only afforded me to do more loads of my son's cloth diapers.  I do a load every other day. In the end, are we saving money? This month's bills will tell us.  But for the first time in my life, I am aware of these things and that's a good thing, right?

As we ran out of fresh foods, I dove deep into our freezers to make meals. I found some interesting things that I had forgotten about. I made a list of everything we had and went through it little by little. One of our freezers is almost completely empty.  But after nearly a week of eating from the freezer and panty, I craved fresh food. By now we had not grocery shopped for two weeks. We were out of yogurt, cheese,  and had only two eggs left and one bottle of milk.  I decided that on Sunday we'd go to the market and we'd only spend 20 euros.  That first weekend market trip was hard. We got fresh veggie and fruits, cheeses, cream and eggs but also came home with pork ribs and a chicken which bumped us over our budget by 15 euros. The ribs and the chicken were too much. I made the best of the chicken. We ate it for three days and I used the bones to make a nice broth with I later turned into a nice hearty vegetable soup using that huge cabbage I had at the beginning of the month. That soup lasted us three more days until it was again market day.  The second week at the market we did much better to sticking to our budget.  And also, we went to market at the end of the day when you can bargain  and almost every kiosk owner threw in an extra this or that because they needed to move their produce.

Doing this slow month taught me to change the way I shop for our food. Instead of doing two massive trips tot he grocery store every month, we do one little trip every week and only buy what we need.  I take the hand basket and if I can't carry it home then I've bought too much! I looked at the receipt from the last massive grocery trip I made and I was embarrassed at all the crap I bought.  My mind must go into auto pilot, walking up and down the isles just throwing things in the cart. I go to the caisse and then hand over my carte bleue and an hour later it would all show up at my door step all neatly packaged.  It has gotten easier and easier to consume these days and I've fallen into the trap.

Well, no more! We spent half of what we usually do last month and we did really well. Our freezers are empty now and I will defrost them and clean them out to prepare them for the freezing of yummy spring/summer fruits and veggies. Because of this slow month and all the cooking I've done, we've eaten better.  And I've actually lost some weight. For those of you who did the a slow month, how did it go for you?