PutYourFlareOn

Always the photographer...

But not this time...

Photo by my husband, Julien.

We're on vacation...sorta...

Well, the tea house is closed for three weeks. We are taking a break from the everyday buzz of café life and replacing it with some manual labor that had got us using muscles we don't normally use and early bed times as my husband says, "on est couché aves les poules". Though we are not running off to some exotic location and soaking in the sun on our holiday but atleast we are doing something completely different than our daily routine and that has been a welcomed breath of fresh air for us. On changes les ideés...

Yesterday, we broke down the bar of the kitchen. It was done in half of a day. And a lot of fun. Big hammers. Plaster flying everywhere. Julien acting like a crazy karate guy breaking things. Good fun. We spent the other half of the day at Leroy Merlin buying various hardware needs and I walked out with loveliest chairs for my terrasse this fall. One is fuschia. Exactly what I imagined. Morning coffee sitting on my fuschia chair. Mmmm.  You'll see....

Today, we worked out the logistics of our mesurements with our hired handyman, spent the morning working out the numbers, well Julien did. I caught up on long overdue emails and also my out of control bloglines. Afterwards, Julien and I went to lunch at one of our favorite restos (mine for sure, Julien likes the Mexican beers), El Sol et La Luna and we were back to work by 13h.  Julien has run off to the harware store again to get the bar. I finished clearing out the kitchen of all the dishes and appliances so we can install my new horizontal inox refridgerator this afternoon. It sure is purty!   After that we'll varnish the bar and head home to Max at 7pm. We are hoping to get all the major stuff done this week so at the end of next week we will be able to go visit friends in Champagne and then off on a mini tour visiting Belgium and Netherlands with my brother, William, who arrives on the 15th.

But already, the break in the routine has been a nice breather for my mind. It's got me thinking about how I want to rearrange my week starting in the fall. Since we closed Sunday, I've find time to update the tea house blog. Please feel free to follow the progress of the work we are doing there. I will also have a fun slideshow video at the end of all the photos I've taken.

Alrighty, break time over... gottta go get freezer wiped down and moved before Julien gets back.

Helping Hal-ah-boji blow out his birthday candles

Happy Birthday to you, Ah-ppa from Maximilien, Julien and I. We miss you!

Once upon a time I used to take photos...

Well, I'm back at it again...

In my quest to get back to some of the things I love...

First on the list, photography.

On the way to the market today...

I overheard several people talking about Les Soldes. It's the time of year again apparently and I had no idea the sales had started again except hearing my fruit and veggie guy saying that he got a great pair of trainers this morning before arriving to work.  Even our nanny was a few minutes late meeting Max and I as she had made a quick trip over to the mall in china town to check out what was soldé. 

I have to admit that I do enjoy shopping at this time because things are actually reasonably priced for once. I will make a few trips to my favorite French brand shops like Comptoir des Cotonniers and Zadig et Voltaire to see what treasures I may find. Even places like Monoprix have really great items on sale, looking for another pair of Bensimon shoes? I may stop in and get that second pair of mary janes but in white this time. On verra...

I'll let you in on a little secret... the Printemps at Italie 2 has a little bit of everything on sale. In past years I have found amazing sales on jackets and shoes. My favorite jacket today is this lovely army green fitted ditty that I picked up a couple years ago from Comptoir des Cotonniers. I am hoping to find myself something as lovely this year... new shops on my radar? Petit Bateau. I have fell in love with their été tees. They are so light and flowy and just the right fit.

But for now... I am sure I spend the day talking about Les Soldes with my customers and hope to close up in time to have a peek on the way home tonight. I'll let you know what I find...

The little things...

There are so many little things I forget to write down.

- For instance, when I put my son down to sleep either at nap time or for bed for the nigh he lays content in his bed, clutching his dou dou, sucking his thumb looking at me. I stand at the door and blow him a kiss. He giggles and smiles and his eyes turn to little half moons, all the while his eyes stuck on me. I close the door and linger a moment. I can hear him sucking his thumb as he slowly turns over on his stomach to drift off to sleep.

- Every morning, if I am awake, my husband says Bonjour to me. His voice has this sweet sing songy-ness to it. If I don't hear the bonjour then I know it's a rough morning for him.

- I can say bisou and kiss to Max and he understands them both. He leans in and lets me kiss his forehead or cheek. When he wants to kiss me he leans in slowly so I understand what he's doing and he plants a nice big open mouth kiss on my cheek.

- Today, I asked Max to bring me the basket for the dishwasher. I had given it to him after I closed the dishwasher and told him that he could not crawl into it. He cried and walked off pouting. I placed the basket at his feet and walked back over to the dishwasher. I opened the door and asked him to bring me the basket. With out moving his eyes from the open dishwasher he crouched down, grabbed the basket and walked over to the open dishwater. I pulled the bottom rack out and pointed to where the basket needed to go and with his best aim he threw it there.

- Making dinner. I miss making dinner. Tonight, we are having roasted asparagus with garlic and olive oil. Pureed carrots and potatoes with herbs and cream. All from our organic basket this week. I just put a quick batch of homemade biscuits in the oven. Quiet dinner for two in 15 minutes... we definitely need to make this little moment a regular thing again.

I am sitting here listening to the machine à laver  turn going in and out of its spin cycles. This will go on for another hour and half.  I also have the distant crackling of the baby monitor playing in the background as I sit and wait for Max to wake up.  It's almost 11am and he's still asleep. He's sick. Fever. No appetite. All around miserable little boy. Probably teeth since he was crying in so much pain last night. Not even a cuddle from his mama made him feel better. Only the comfort of this two front fingers jammed in the back of his mouth and the whimsical singing of his father would calm him down. 

I type this entry from home. I should be in the middle of baking scones right now and preparing the day's veggies and fruits. But circumstances being, I have decided to close the tea house and take care of my baby today.

I feel guilty. Guilty that I have to wait for my son to be sick to take time to spend with him. Guilty that I am closing the business for one day.  What will a day's difference make? I guess we'll see at the end of this week.

I am living my dream and owning my own business. It is hard. It takes me away from so many things that I love. My husband. My son. My hobbies. My friends. All of those are pushed back to the secondary position as I launch myself into my dream.  I am still adjusting to it all.... I come home more often tired and ready for bed at 8pm.  Baby is asleep. Husband is engrossed in a book or his computer. All I can think about it putting my head down on my pillow. I wonder how I can change this little rut I feel like I am in? And you know what? I feel tired when I wake up in the morning. Makes no sense.

Max is growing like a weed. It amazes me how fast he learns things and copies Julien and I in our actions. I try to take a video of him everyday if I can. Just so I can remember because every parent I know tells me if goes so fast and so many things are so easily forgotten. My camera lays in its case waiting to be used. I keep telling myself that I will get back to it someday soon.

And there is the crying of a waking baby I have been waiting for... I'm off to take care of my mama duties today. A welcomed change from my recent new routine. Guilty or not... Max is worth it.

Daily Linkage Love

I updated my Daily Link portion of my blog. I should call it something else instead of Daily link. I don't change it on a basis anymore. Anyway... on to the links: The first one is to an online friend named Cindy Pon. I have been reading her blog for as long as I can remember blogs being around. She is going to be a publish author and she deserves it. I can not wait to get her books and put them on my shelves at the tea house.  Check out her blog and her paint and prose blog as well. She's a beautifully talented Chinese brush artist as well.

Next is a design blog that I have been drawing a lot of inspiration from. It's called Decor8. As I am in the midst of redecorating the tea house with a huge overhaul happening in August, I am looking fresh new ideas and only have time to do it between customers and using only the Internet.

Finally, I wanted to show you a photographer that has captivated me for the last few months with her portraits with her children. She goes by InkyBlack on Flickr. I am going to be starting a new photography project soon and now you know where I found my inspiration for this project.

What links have you guys been into lately? Do share...

I have been sitting here trying to figure out a title for this blog entry and nothing is coming to my mind. I have been pretty lax on my blogging lately. Yes, I have been busy but I have had time in the evenings to blog. I often log into Typepad and stair at the Compose New Post page and my fingers are stuck. The ideas I had to blog about during the day when I'm busy baking or serving tea are all lost to me.  No time to jot them down in my moleskine. Fingers often covered in scone dough or cookie batter so I can't type. And then sometime I blog block myself by thinking that what I have to say is uninteresting and who would be interested in what I have been up to?

I think I'm just too much in my head and just need to write down my thoughts so I can access them later in time.

 - Today, I walked down a freshly rain soaked cobblestone sidewalk on my way to the tea house carrying a bouquet of sunflowers, two freshly baked baguettes and today's Le Parisien.

 - I met two readers of my blog today. One person a lurker from San Francisco who has never commented on my blog who found my through another friend's blog who had linked about the tea house.   The other visitor a woman and her husband from Vancouver who has been reading my blogs for years and leaves the most wonderful comments some which have really helped me through some dark times in my life and brought smiles to replace the tears.  I was thrilled to meet her. Hugs were given. She knit and enjoyed my homemade carrot cake. Really lovely to put a face to the familiar name that often appears in my comments.

 - I baked cream scones today. Seriously, these are the best scones I've ever made. I also learned from a customer who happened to be from Australia about Devonshire Tea. I am going to rename my Thé Gourmand, Devonshire Tea instead. And perhaps I will adapt the Aussie way to pronounce scone as /skɒn/ like as in John. Just because it's so cute. But I will not be making Vegemite scones as the woman suggested I could. My taste buds have not yet gotten used to the unique taste of Vegemite.

 - I thought about how I am a mother. Last weekend was mother's day in France and to hear my husband wish my Bonne Fete de Mamans made me feel really good. This role of mother is the most natural role my life has taken to date.  Through all my fears and worries in the beginning I can easily say that I am really glad that I became a Maman when I did. It was the hardest period of my life. I had just lost my mother and knowing myself I had to challenge myself. Challenge myself to advance and live life. And I knew that my mother wouldn't want it any other way.

Just a few of my thought today... enough to blog about? Who knows. But I do want to remember these moments.

From memory...

Stirring cookie batter this morning got my mind jogging back to when I was a young girl and I'd watch my mom stir the batter. She'd always let me stir it until it got too hard for me to stir. It was always after the second cup of flour.  She'd hand me the  yellow bag of chocolate chips and let me pour while she stirred. I always looked forward to this step.   After all the cookies were on the baking sheets. She'd let us clean the batter from the bowl.

Stirring the cookie batter this morning I felt her presence next to me. I folded the batter over and over again and I looked at my hand and instead of seeing my hand I saw hers.  The cookie recipe I sell at the tea house is my mother's. When people ask for the recipe, I tell them it's my mother's recipe and that there is not a written recipe to share and that I make these cookies slightly differently everyday just going off my memory.

And her ever present guidance.

Two of my favorite things...

Brother and sister

Surprise visit

My brother's battleship he is serving on docked in Marseille today. He took a train up to suprise me. What a wonderful suprise!

Spring is here!

With the arrival of Spring, the light in the tea house is amazing.... This is the round the table that sits in the grande vitrine at the entrance of the tea house.

I am a selfish mom sometimes

Another Thursday with Max has come and gone. He's fast sleep in the next room. I am laying in bed getting subtle relief from the Advil I took for my migraine. Although I've had this migraine all day today, I didn't realize it was happening until after I put Max to bed. When I am with Max nothing else really matters. I miss phone calls. I forget to check the mail. I don't do the dishes. I am only with him.  Thursdays are the highlight of my week.

Today, Max had a quick visit to the doctors. Over the long weekend he had a fever for a few days but Julien and I just assumed he was teething. He had been drooling a lot over the weekend and his cheeks were red. Noting else seemed out of the ordinary so I didn't worry. But then on Monday a few spots showed up all over his body. Chicken pox? Maybe it was for real this time? But something about the way these bumps looked did not say chicken pox to me.  And the doctor confirmed that they were not but instead Max had the tail end of Roseola. The doctor reassured me there was nothing to worry about and that in a few days the spots would be completely gone.

After spending the afternoon riding trains, playing with friends, making a mess in a toy store and riding more trains we made it home. Dinner, bath and bed. I find myself trying to relaxing with a migraine.  I lay in bed right now thinking about today and remembered soemthing new Max did today. When I push the stroller I often talk to Max and explain to him things I see. Sometimes I sing silly songs I make up. Or we play a game where he repeats what I say.  If there is a moment when I haven't said anything, Max yells,  "Ma ma?!?" The last syllable of Ma ma raised as he saying,"are you there?" And I always respond, "Yes, Max... I am here." And our conversation starts again.

Another new thing he's started doing is when we're on the metro and I am sitting next to him he reaches over and grabs my hand and pulls it close to his face and cuddles it.  I tickle the soft baby skin of his neck and he smiles and rests his cheek against my palm. Warms my heart through and through....

We are waiting to hear if Max will have a place in the Creche this fall.  If he does get a spot then that  means he will be in day care full time and our Thursdays together will probably come to an end. I think I am secretly hoping that he won't get a spot but financially speaking it will be the best thing for our family. The nanny is expensive. I am still getting used to being a full time working mom.  I have moments when the guilt of being away from Max overwhelms me to the point that sometimes I come home from work and rush back to Max's room and scoop up his sleeping form and cuddle him in my arms.  Most nights I can refrain from doing that and just stand at the door and listen to him sleep. But sometimes it's just plus fort que moi...

I know this will get easier in time... I just need some more time.

Is this thing still on?

I haven't logged into Typepad in what it seems like ages to me. I honestly haven't had a down moment to myself to properly compose a blog post. I have had swarms of thoughts invading my mind lately. All of them coming to me when I lay down to go to bed. I lay there for a second and think, "should I get up and blog?", my eyes close and before I know it it's morning. 

My routine nowadays is as follows:

- Wake at 7am to "Ma ma ma ma MA!" or "Da da da da DA!"
- Say goodbye to Julien around 7h45.
- Breakfast for Max around 8h00 
- Play until 9h20
- Head to the park around 9h30 and let Max practice his walking skills until 10h00 and then off to Tata's.
- 10h05, I am off for my morning courses which include fresh flowers, newspapers and baguettes.
- I arrive at the tea house around 10h30am.
- Deliver from the my fruit and veggie guy around 10h45. I've started the day's cookies and am usually watching Grey's Anatomy or The Office.
- I have the veggies and fruit prepped by 11h00 and the cookies are nearly done. I usually have time to sit down and drink a coffee with the woman who owns the restaurant across the street. All the while, saying hello to my fellow shop owners who work on the Rue de la Butte aux Cailles. 
- Lunch crowd starts showing up around 12h15 and I'm pretty busy until about 14h00. 
- I eat lunch about 14h30.
- I usually bake another goodie in the afternoon (today it was orange-cranberry scones) or I call my suppliers and place orders for things that we need. 
- Tea time starts up around 16h30 and I'm usually quite busy until around 18h30. 
Weekdays we close at 19h00, Fridays and weekends we close at 20h00.
- I'm home from work about an hour after we close.  Max is sleeping. I usually bring home dinner for Julien and I. We sit and catch up on each other's day or watch one of our TV shows. I think about table cloths I want to sew after dinner but end up just hanging out with Julien listening to Max sleeping through the baby monitor. 
- I am usually in bed by 23h30 at the latest.

And it all starts again the next day....

Do you know your military time? I guess you will now. 

The new routine is settling in well. My feet have adjusted.  My appetite has as well. Getting accustomed to a late lunch has gotten me used to a very late dinner.  If we ever move to Spain, I'm ready for the late dinners they are known for.  I've completely stopped cooking at home. The house is mostly stocked with things Max eats and comté cheese. The latter is what Julien likes to eat after work.  The laundry gets done sometimes.  The apt seems a bit unlived in lately... consistant piles have made their appearances through out the apt. Max's things for Tata's in the hall way. My work clothes next to the bed. The mail for the tea house in the livingroom. Clean laundry to-be folded on the couch.  But so far, we're ok with the piles.

I don't really know what the point of this post was except to say Hi and that things are going alright. I find time to Twitter, I mean who doesn't? But Twitter isn't something I can look back in a year from now and read and remember. So, I am going to try to make an effort to write more often. Even if it is just a list or two... these are things I don't want to forget.

Something that I did forget to do is Max's 13 month newsletter.  So, I have been writing his 14th month newsletter in my head for the past few days because so much has happened! And his 14th month will coincide with my 31st year of existence.  Am I the only one here but does it seem like this year has just flown by already? 

Well, I'll leave you with the song that I have in my head right at this moment:

I'm off to close up shop....