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June 2005

May 2005

Fine on the outside, total agony on the inside...

Had to leave work before noon today because of a migraine.  Had to jump off the train in ghetto town in between my office and Paris to do a quick drive by ralphing.  Strangers stood to watch, one woman laughed. No one asked if I was okay.  Time like this I wish I had a car...

Sitting here waiting for my codeine packed pills to take effect... snapping pictures of myself to see what I look like with a migraine:

Home from work...  Home from work... Home from work... Home from work...

No wonder woman in HR looked like she didn't buy it when I told her I was sick.  A colleague said my symptoms (blinding headache, nausea, fatigue) could mean something else...yeah, no. I just got my monthly bill earlier this week.

Excuse me while I go and pass out...

I was soooo duped!

I believe you. No, I really do! One thing you must know about me is that I am gullible.  I guess it can be seen as a fault but it's because I'm so nice (yes, I am nice, husband!) that I believe you.  OK. Sometimes I know better but when your husband tells you that you're not going to have a party for your bday. I believed him. I know him, he isn't a party planner unlike my Aussie friend who soooo pulled a fast one on me last weekend.  For my birthday, J planned a quiet evening  between lovers. At the end of the evening, J asked if I was disappointed that he hadn't thrown a party for me.  My mind wandered for a second and I thought, "OMG, there are people at the house right now!!!" We catch a taxi and return to an empty apt with our fat cat, Léo, waiting for us.  I was slightly disappointed. But happy to return home with my man and crash hard after eating the BEST fois gras ever.

Saturday, we had been invited out to a friend's house for lunch. We were running late, as usual.  Of course, something was up but I had no idea.  We were intercepted by our friends who picked us up by car and then promptly stated that were were going to buy bread. I noticed that we had been driving for a long time but figured we were going to a special place to get bread. My friends are practically gourmet cooks and only settle for the BEST. So, I ask no questions. I should have noticed that something was up because J was stressed out.  He was fidgeting in his seat, which he never does and my girlfriend was busy sending messages through her phone. But she's always doing that so that didn't seem out of the ordinary to me.  We arrive in Versailles and I ask "Are we far from your house?" and my girlfriend nonchalantly replies, "nope" and I BUY it. In all reality, we were quite far from their house but hello? I'm a woman and have no directional abilities so this all seemed quite normal to me. 

We arrive at a beautiful park and my girlfriend kicks J and I out of the car. He's not phased and neither am I. I mean, my girlfriend is a little nutty at times. So, I ask no questions and go with the flow. J and stand at the entrance a while and talk and I feel cold as the wind coming up off the lake is cold and ask if we could go and stand near the entrance and wait for our friends.  We start walking away from the lake  and then my cell phone rings.

It's Francophony calling me. Huh? What does she want? Probably to wish me a happy birthday.... again?

"Hey, hobag... come towards the lake!"

Yep, there she was with her frog man and her and her and her and her and her and her frog man, too! (Whew!)

I had been duped!

And what a huge surprise it was! Leisurely pique-nique with friends in Versailles. What else could a girl want for her bday?

Well... that and this:

bday present from my friends!

Putting a circle into a square...

Riding on the metro in Paris can be entertainment in itself. It has been nearly two years that I have been relying on public transportation and I rather enjoy it.  I've always enjoyed taking riding the metro, kind of like a kid on a kiddie ride type of enjoyment because in Kansas, it's either you have a car or you have a car. No questions asked.  You see many things while riding the metro: happy things, sad things, weird things and things you just shouldn't see. Kissing couples, fighting couples, crying babies, beggars, lost tourists, sleeping souls, half naked people, drunk and partied out people and the ever present stinky person.  You just deal with whatever is happening around you, I suppose. It's what you get when you ride the metro.

But the other day something strange happened to me. Strange is not right word. Wrong. Gross. Unbelieveable. Happened to me... I was on my way out to see friends with J. We were packing a bunch of things with us so both of us had our hands full.  We were both seated on the strapontins or the folding toilet seats (as I call them) that are located as you enter the wagon. The wagon was not crowded at all.  There were seats open all around us.  We are one stop away from destination when a very round man enters the train.  I am seated near the door, sitting on one strapontin with my bag on the second one next to me.  There are seats open facing me and behind me.  The very round man looks down at me and gives me that Je peux te manger tout cru  look - I could just eat you up look.  I quickly look away and get J's attention. He's already giving the man the death eye who promptly looks away and then back again at me. He moved towards me an I'm thinking, "Don't even think about it, buddy" and he does. He asked to sit next to me.  This man is Santa clause round. Human sized beach ball round. Looks like he ate another person round. AND he smells terrible.  Before I could respond, I see his round behind coming towards me and the next thing I know is he's sitting on me and I'm scrambling to get out of his stinky clutches.  I'm barely hanging on to the strapontin, struggling to hold my things and pull the rest of my skirt out from under his stinky ass.  J jumps up and helps me get to my feet as our stop is approaching.  He glares at the stinky, round man who looks away but I see that he's smiling. And I'm completely mortified.  That was a definately first for me and hopefully the last time. :)

Love is...

Love is when your husband comes to bed early because you want him to.
Love is when you're friend takes the day off to play with you on your birthday.
Love is when you cat gives you kitty kisses when you are sad.

Love is when your husband agrees to re-arrange the kitchen at 10pm and you change your mind a hour later and he doesn't get mad.

Love is when he tells you that you're beautiful first thing in the morning.
Love is the laughter amongst good girlfriends.