When it's ok to talk about these kinds of feelings?
When it's time to have a baby?
How do you know if you've made the right decision?
Are we really sure of anything?
I thought I had certain level of certainty in my life. Boy, was I wrong.
I guess we never really have that much certainty in anything we do. I just don't know how to deal with this.
How do you deal with a friend who's has let you down?
How do you deal with the loss of a loved one?
How do you deal with people not understanding you?
Do you just give up and get over it? I don't know how to do that?
Have people in my life really understood who I really am?
Does this make any sense?
I wish I had let my mom read my blog. It never occurred to me that I should share my blog with her. But now that she's gone... ya know. I thought I was certain that it wouldn't have interested her very much. Or certain that it would have made her angry for whatever reason... but now I'm not so sure of that.
I was certain once, I remember, I was 22 years old that I wouldn't like knitting. It just didn't appeal to me. But I love it now. I guess I've "grown into" it? How did I know that I was sure I wouldn't like it. I didn't even really try it back then.
I guess now I am realizing that I really can't be certain of anything in my life. I could get hit by bus tomorrow going to my movie date with my girlfriends. Or I could come down with some serious illness next week. Or become pregnant. Or have a falling out with a good girlfriend or my husband. Or win the lottery.
I guess the uncertainty can be exhilarating but it only scares the hell out of me now. How do you find the balance?