We're in St. Louis! My dad and Julien are still sleeping. I'm sipping what the French would call jus de chaussette and have been up knitting since before 6am this morning. My internal clock was saying get up it's afternoon. Jet lag has always been something I could never beat. It's nice to be back but strange at the same time. People are louder and taller. Everything is just so huge here. I can't believe how surprised I am every time I come back. United lost one of our bags but delivered it to the house at 2am this morning. I doubt that would ever happen in France. *grin* It's good to see my Ah-ppa and just to be close to him. I can't wait to see my siblings in a couple weeks. They are flying in from all over the US to see us, we're so lucky.
So, St Louis is my "home" away from home. I live in Paris now and finally feel like I want to call it home. We're having a baby and starting our family. I think I'm figuring out this growing up and starting your own life thing. With all that's happened to me in the the past year, I've really learned to take advantage of what I have right here, right now. Before I felt like I was always waiting for something to come along, that feeling of uncertainty always left me with a feeling of wanting and incompletion. With a our baby boy coming early next year and seeing how my relationship with Julien has evolved, I feel confident that I can do this grown up thing I was always so scared of. I feel Omma sending me messages and I see and hear them loud and clear. I know understand that my life in Paris right now is where I'm supposed to be.