I'm starting to feel much better now, the doctor didn't seem too worried I was sick. Thanks for all the suggestions! My doctor suggested like many of you to drink flat coke and TUC crackers. It seemed to have worked it's charm. Now I'm congested but I think it's due to the unseasonably mild weather we are having. It's awfully humid yet cold outside, it just seems the cold sticks to your bones a lot easier when it's so humid.
We had our big second trimester check up yesterday. I've gained 7 kilos to date. Which I'm pretty proud of because I gain weight by just looking at junk food. The baby is growing at an amazing pace and the doctor says that he's above average in all categories. He is about 25cm long and from what we could tell with the 3d sonogram he has a little nose like me! And chubby cheeks. Not surprised considering his mama was called the incredible chunk growing up, I had cheeks that everyone wanted to squeeze. Okay, I still kind of do... Starting this week as well, he's been a lot more active. Mostly at night and he keeps me awake, the light sleeper I am. I read that it's not uncommon that the babies are active the second part of the night. He kicks so hard now that I can see it with the naked eye. It's really a surreal experience. I would touch one side of my stomach and a few seconds later he's kick in the same spot. We're working on his touch sensory already! He also has become very reactive to Julien's voice. Julien talks to my belly every night before bed. He sings songs for the baby or tells him to rest so that mummy (as he calls me) can sleep. I've never experienced anything so touching as to see my husband assume his role as father.
With the sleepless nights have come late night knitting and lot of soul searching. I've been wondering about my mother and a few times this week in the few hours of sleep I am able to catch, I see her there. Once we were knitting together and once she was taking care of what I think was our baby. It was a baby boy that I had never seen before but seemed so familiar to me. I'd awake comforted yet empty. This new chapter in our lives that Julien and I are embarking on is what I believe is the next step for me in the healing process or grieving process. I lost my mother at the time when she had taught me most of life's lessons such as right and wrong, unconditional love, being a good sister/person, being an adult and being a good wife and with her death, she's taught me how to live and survive the death of a loved one. Now that I am embarking on the next big stage in my life and becoming a mother, I must admit that feel scared. But talking with my father he said that he and Omma were so scared too. I believe that my role as mother will be directly influenced by the relationships I have with my husband and my other family members but it will also be affected by the love and loss I feel for my own mom's life and death. This is the coming of full circle, it empowers me and has restored my hope.
It's been a long time since I've been able to see so clearly. Sure, I still have days when I cry because I'm sad but those are few and far between. And I honestly feel okay about those sad moments. And I use them as a way to reflect positively on my life and to look forward.
Three and half more months to go before our baby makes his grand entrance into this world. With every kick and movement he makes my heart flutters (and heals) from all the excitement.