Want to know a sure fire way to go into labor in France?

Go and take care of something administrative at the Social Security office.

I've been on congé maternité since February 6th.  I was supposed to receive a payment from the social security at the end of the February. Well, February ended and nothing showed up.  I didn't worry too much about it since this is France and things take a little longer to happen.  Also, living in Paris, it seems like administrative offices take a bit longer to process things.  A week ago, Julien asked if I had been paid or not by the social security. I check my bank account and still nothing.  I started to sweat a little because this meant that I would have to call them to see what was going on. I hate calling administrative offices to ask questions.  I always seem to get the one person who doesn't know what's going on, or I end up being on hold listening to elevator music at 15 centimes the minute.  I think Julien saw the fear in my eyes and said he'd do it. Whew. Later that evening he came home with a short list of documents that my dossier was missing.  And that was why no payment had been  made. Why they didn't write a letter to tell us that something was missing?  We don't know.  And Julien and I had no idea that we were supposed to send in these specific documents either.

So, I ask the question. How are you supposed to know what to do and when?  I'll have an answer for you in just a second...

I had lunch with a friend today which motivated me to go to the Social Security office and complete my dossier.  I had to present myself in person because they do not take mail ins for this kind of administrative task.  I took my number and waited. and waited. and waited. and waited.  It was hot. And I continued to wait and wait. At least I was sitting down. Finally, after about 45 minutes they call my number.  I head over to the desk with my number flashing and explain why I was there.  The woman pulls up my file and starts listing off the documents she needed.  It is a different list than the one that Julien gave me the night before.  Well, slightly... there was one attestation that wasn't on the list and a certificate that I no longer had possession of because another administrative office had taken my original and not given it back to me. and this certificate happened to be the most important thing on the list according to the lady.  Luckily, I had the attestation with me. But the certificate was another story.

Sweat started to bead on my forehead.

For 15 minutes the woman behind the desk went back and forth on why this one certificate was so important. All the while she grew more and more rude with me.  I asked her if we could call the other administrative office  and have them fax over a copy. She rolled her eyes and said, "oh we don't talk to that office directly. You have to go over there and get it and bring it back to me"  (!)

Finally, she told me she would not make my dossier because I was missing this certificate. And then she exclaimed, "Point finale!!" Incredible.  She started to type the next person in line's number to call them over to her desk when  I looked at my stomach and then looked at her square in the eyes with a bit of psycho rage and said (rather loudly) "I am going to have my baby in 5 days, you expect me to go to this office get this form and then come back here and give it to you so that you can just make a copy of it for my file?" 

I felt my stomach contract. Hard. A trickle of sweat ran down my face.

The room became very, very quiet. The woman at the desk next to us peeked over the cubicle divide.  I had the lady's full attention. I asked her, "what is on this certificate that is so important!?"  She muttered something about dates, starting dates of work and ending dates, blah, blah, blah... I quickly flipped through my file folder and pulled out another document that had exactly what she wanted. It wasn't the exact certificate she was asking for but maybe it would work? It was a document for another administrative office, the one she said that her office doesn't talk to.  I pushed it across the desk to her. She peered at it over her glasses. Pursed her lips and then called her boss.  A minute later she hung up and said, "OK, c'est bon!"

She smiled at me and started typing away at her computer.  I sat back with a big sigh.  I did it.  I've done the one thing that other foreigners talk about happening but had never happened to me.  I got someone to break the rule, just a little bit, for me! Whoa...

Five minutes later, her tone had completely changed. Where earlier she was talking to me like I was this huge annoyance. Now, she was smiling. Asking me if I was having a boy or a girl. Wishing me a happy delivery and informing me that in 14 days I would receive my payment.  She was being genuinely nice to me.

Huh?

I come from a culture where you are nice to people and they are usually pretty nice back.  I would have never of raised my voice and lost my cool talking to someone like that in the US.   I called Julien and told him my triumphant story and he just said, "You see, you're understanding the French better".  I guess you have to raise your voice and lose your temper a little bit for them to take you seriously and respect you, just a little.  I wish I could have recorded myself talking to this woman, hearing myself in my head I amazed myself at how easily it came out.  Maybe I am becoming a little French...

So, I asked the question earlier how do you know what to do and when in France concerning administrative offices?  I asked this exact question to the woman before I left.  She just smiled at me and did the little French "pffffft", puffing her cheeks out and said "I don't know, you just know."

Ah, La France...

Comments

[Missty]

It's the same for me, since the end of january, i didn't get the right amount...

[Veronique]

Actually, having dealt with bureaucracy in both the US and France, my conclusion is: they both suck. I always start off acting nice, thinking it just might work! The americans can be nice right back at you and still not resolve your issue (this happened to me yesterday--killing me with kindness). Or they can be super bitchy (social security office is a good example!).
*sigh*

[Sheree]

Yes, I think bureaucracy is the same the world over! Good for you, standing up to the snotty lady behind the counter. :)

[samantha]

Good for you - I've definitely found that raising my voice a little bit usually forces them to back down and respect you. I never would've done that in the US, but moving here has made me, let's say, a lot more "assertive". *S*

[Stefanie]

You've apparently never had a bad experience at the DMV in the states!!!

The difference I've found in the US is that if you start out surly, then the person is surly back to you, whereas in France, if you start out nice, you get walked over so you have to get progressively more assertive....

Well, glad you got your papers in order, anyway!

[stephanievmills]

Can you imagine being an employee of the government?!?
I think dealing with the gov't of any country is a pain in the arse.
When I was about 37 weeks prego, I had a client come into my office who was lipping off to one of my staff, so I waddled out to the front and said, "what is the problem here? if you don't like the way we do business here, theres the front door!!". The whole office got soooo quiet and he just said, oh, it's ok, just do it that way. Ha! You don't mess with a very pregnant woman! I was so fired up, I felt like I was going to go into labour after that!! :) Best wishes! Stephanie in Toronto.

[jfx]

Not to make light of your fustrations, but I was almost giggling while I read your story. It's the exact same with the Quebecois here in Canada. So much bureaucracy! We're known to be the worst in our country. I also had problems with receiving my maternity leave payments, and still am, and I'm nearing the end of my leave! Good job for being a b* back to that lady, you deserve better service than that. Glad everything is back on track!

[laura b]

That's so cool that you got her to do it! I'm very impressed. Your story brought back some weird memories from when I was trying to get my carte de sejour. Why is it that there is always more than one list of the documents needed?!

[Lee]

I have so many stories of learning to be a bitch with these people. It just doesn't come naturally for me. I'm midwestern! An uphill battle, but I'm getting there...

But now you have downright freaked me out for my maternity leave payments; I just asked the accountant at my job what exactly I need to do and she said, "Just bring a medical certificate and I think it should be fine..."

Seemed too good to be true, even as she said it. I think I'll trek back to her office on Monday and double-check. I REALLY can't go for even a month without that cash.

[shivaya]

oh great story of triumph! i usually get so overwhelmed and start to cry. i then either get their full attention through manipulation (unintended), or i don't get taken seriously from that point forward.

oh and i have been following your baby blog with much anticipation. i have't commented often because, well, i am usually already way down in th cue by the time i read it, and "slow on the draw."

wishing you a joyous birth experience!

**hapa hugs from stateside, midwest at that!**
shivaya07

[stephanievmills]

How long do you get for maternity leave in France?

[Aralena]

you go, girl! hurray for pregnancy hormones! and yes, there are occasions in the U.S. when civil servants are less than helpful, but let's be honest: in France it is almost systematic - even the French know this - and, as Aimee proves again, winning the fonctionnaire battle has less to do with accordance with laws than wearing them down.

Bravo, Aimee!

[frog with a blog]

You go girl! teach that beeyatch what you're made of and how retarded and stalinian French administration is!
I say Aimee for Présidente de la République!

[andie]

I remember going through the exact same thing two weeks before Louise was born last year! The lack of disrespect for humans as such never ceases to amaze me. Like you, I've learned to leave my American self at the door and become French any time there is anything to do with the administration. If not, they'll just walk right over you. Good job! Oh, and I know what form they are talking about because it's the same exact one they gave me hell over last year!

[martina]

Go get 'em! Good for you! I wouldn't have the steely determination to deal with the French administration. Forget that Royal lady--vote for Aimee!

[Stephanie]

Aimee, OMG, when I read your post, I wished I was there in that office with you putting that woman in her place. Good for you!! BRAVO!!! I once had a similar, but not so critical, triumph of my own in Paris with a waiter. I did my own little happy dance upon understanding the French. It's so funny because... within seconds after reading your words, I blasted Cornell Medical for repeated billing (of bills I've already paid!!!) They even sent me a collection bill (when I had already paid). Well, pfffft, I told them under no uncertain terms that I would escalate this issue if they do not stop billing me willy nilly. That's NYC for you over Kansas!! :) You are fortunate to be from a saner part of the States. I'm originally from Portland, Maine, where people are also very nice. So I can relate to that which you are accustomed. Wow... just 5 more days until you and Julien meet Le Petit Monsieur!! Chin up... you really earned your stripes today!! :)

[dongurigal]

I've been lurking all along and was waiting to write out a congrats post in 5 days, but this ole post here makes me want to congratulate you right now!

Congratulations!!! Bells, whistles, paper horns.

Very impressed--I'm so wimpy when dealing with French bureaucrats. They scare me. I even let one bureaucrat bully me into using my husband's name (I haven't changed my last name)on an important form.

You're my heroine today.

PS Your belly is beautiful.

[Jennifer]

Congratulations, my dear, it's a Temper!

Seriously though, ARRGGHH!

Word: I didn't get maternity payments after my second kid was born and when I called to find out where payments were, they said something outrageous like there hadn't been proof of birth. They paid up to my due date and then nada.

Um..... right...

They said that we had to send in a birth certificate. I said that we had done that. They said no.

It turns out that the certificate was ACROSS THE HALL in another office of the same SECU because my daughter was added to hubs Social security rather than mine.

They were cool though... They actually went across the hall to make a copy rather than forcing me to hoof it to the relevant City Hall in Paris (where Brenna was born) to get an "extrait de naissance" and then bring it in.

Wasn't that groovy of them?

[Pardon_My_French]

Yay for you! Right now I'm thinking, oh, crap, I need a certificate?! No one told me about a certificate! AAaaaargh.

[Alice]

I have to add my congrats here too, Aimée -- I am always berating myself for my lack of assertiveness, and you totally socked it to this lady! I could learn some lessons from you... And it's fabulous how you put her in her place. More power to you!

I know that I'm going to have to start dealing with my own bureaucratic details down the road myself, and I'm dreading it already -- I'm so bad at paperwork and keeping things in order! I'm going to have to work on that...

Hang in there for the next few days!

[The Bold Soul]

Ah, a case of "don't get even, get MAD". Well done! See, Bébé? Maman knows how to get things done around here!

[kate]

Quebec is a little bit like this but OH MY GOD I'M SO FREAKING GLAD I DON'T HAVE TO DEAL WITH FREAKING FRENCH FONCTIONAIRRES ANYMORE! JAYSUS!

[phillippa]

awesome that you made her do an 'about face'!!!

[Matt]

Get 'em!

Go Jayhawks!

[Alison]

Way to go!

Just catching up on your blog...thinking of you and your upcoming C-section...I imagine there must be some serenity to knowing the date, knowing that everything is going to be okay...