One month ago I looked like this:
The same day a month ago I gave birth to you, Maximilien. And you looked like this:
A month later and now I look like this:
And look at you now:
My life has completely changed since your arrival. The first few days were tough. Very, very tough. I actually thought I couldn't do this mom thing. In the beginning the emotions were high and the physical pain was strong. My body has taken a shock. It felt lost and empty and I needed time to understand what was happening. All the while, I looked at you in complete awe, Max. Wondering what to do next? But as time went by you started to let me know what I needed to do. I'm learning what your cries and coos mean and I think we're really starting to understand each other. And I finally feel like, "hey, I can do this". You smile at me now and blow the greatest spit bubbles after each of your baths. You love to snuggle in my neck after I've taken a shower. You always calm down when you I play you Goodbye Stranger by Supertramp. And you fall asleep when I sing you Rainbow Connection. It's in those quiet moments when I watch you sleep is when I learn the most about myself. I understand that I was made to be your mommy and that this is my path in life. I also understand that you have a direct and special connection with my mommy and I see it everyday when I look into your face. I often see expressions that my Omma would make and I know that you are delivering special messages from her to me.
So, here's to your first month, Maximilien. I hope I haven't annoyed you too much with all the kissing. Your cheeks are amazing and I can't help myself. Thank you for the life lessons you are teaching me, I look forward to what's coming next on our journey together. Oh, and thanks for giving your dad a break with the whole peeing during the 30 seconds you are diaper-less. I know he appreciates it and I have to say I've never laughed so hard in my life the first time (every time) you did that. And thank you for bringing hope back into my life when I needed it so desperately, I had no idea it had been missing for so long until you came into my life.
i love that photo!!! it's a long, difficult ride, but so worth it.
Posted by: phillippa | April 20, 2007 at 23:05
oh, this entry made me so happy!
Posted by: Jenn | April 20, 2007 at 23:10
beautiful post Aimee!
Posted by: Kasey | April 21, 2007 at 01:54
You are SOOOOOOOO courageous to post a belly shot 1 month post baby! I am too ashamed of all my stretch marks & belly flab to do that!
You guys are looking great! Have a good weekend!
Posted by: Robyn | April 21, 2007 at 02:55
Your post made me cry! And laugh a little (the peeing bit)! :)
Posted by: Jennifer | April 21, 2007 at 07:55
Hurray for chub on the belly. You are very brave to show everyone, and wonderful to share since that is what a post pard belly should look like!
Beautiful post! Big hugs!
Posted by: Riana | April 21, 2007 at 09:53
It is amazing isn't it that you can love so much. We use the word love so frivolously. For instance, I love rain and BBQ potato chips but it is not the same love as I have for my kids and grandkids.
Posted by: Tutu | April 21, 2007 at 12:03
Happy Birthday MAX!
Hugs from NE
Katy and her mom
Posted by: Mary Anne | April 21, 2007 at 12:20
So sweet! Happy One Month to both of you!
Posted by: yaiAnn | April 21, 2007 at 18:11
Your post is so sweet and I identify with it. I love his expression and his cheeks. So, Supertramp works for Max?
Posted by: Pardon_My_French | April 21, 2007 at 22:39
bless you 3, thats what itsa all about chica. you are doing soo welll.Have faith, even when it gets too overwhelming...you are are good mom.
Posted by: clairity123 | April 22, 2007 at 03:56
What beautiful, honest, incredible photos -- as always Aimée! Your little Max is so incredibly adorable. And all that you share with us here is so touching. You are already such a great mom!
Posted by: Alice | April 22, 2007 at 21:09
Lovely post! Even with the tough talk. It IS tough.
I have been thinking... since I have two kids and have delivered one 'naturally' and one with a c-section. Could it be that the womb has to mourn it's sudden loss and thus makes the beginning a bit harder? It just adds to the confusion somehow, it sure did for me. What you see and what you feel is overwhelming joy, but what your womb might feel is a frightful reaction to the incision? Just thinking...
Posted by: Emma | April 23, 2007 at 22:22
c'est très beau et plein de sincérité mon Amour. Je suis avec toi sur le chemin du bonheur. Yours
Posted by: Jul | April 25, 2007 at 20:21
Wow. Just wow. This is such a beautiful and touching post. And funny too, with the peeing part
Posted by: lapagefrancaise | April 27, 2007 at 23:59
Am I the only one who is crying into my laptop because this was the sweetest post I've ever read? You'll be a fantastic mother -- you already are. Sleep will come soon. "Sleep when the baby sleeps" I was told. Works until baby #2..
Posted by: Polly | May 02, 2007 at 09:32
just amazing.
when you're a kid you assume you'll know what to do when you have a baby. when you get a little older you make a big show out of not wanting one. and then as you get nearer and nearer to actually having one, you begin to doubt your childhood self-confidence...
and thanks to you, aimee, I feel as confident now as I did when I was little.
--except I'm firmly on birth control until I can be sure the guy is as ready as I am!!
Posted by: maitresse | May 07, 2007 at 08:51