One month ago I looked like this:
The same day a month ago I gave birth to you, Maximilien. And you looked like this:
A month later and now I look like this:
And look at you now:
My life has completely changed since your arrival. The first few days were tough. Very, very tough. I actually thought I couldn't do this mom thing. In the beginning the emotions were high and the physical pain was strong. My body has taken a shock. It felt lost and empty and I needed time to understand what was happening. All the while, I looked at you in complete awe, Max. Wondering what to do next? But as time went by you started to let me know what I needed to do. I'm learning what your cries and coos mean and I think we're really starting to understand each other. And I finally feel like, "hey, I can do this". You smile at me now and blow the greatest spit bubbles after each of your baths. You love to snuggle in my neck after I've taken a shower. You always calm down when you I play you Goodbye Stranger by Supertramp. And you fall asleep when I sing you Rainbow Connection. It's in those quiet moments when I watch you sleep is when I learn the most about myself. I understand that I was made to be your mommy and that this is my path in life. I also understand that you have a direct and special connection with my mommy and I see it everyday when I look into your face. I often see expressions that my Omma would make and I know that you are delivering special messages from her to me.
So, here's to your first month, Maximilien. I hope I haven't annoyed you too much with all the kissing. Your cheeks are amazing and I can't help myself. Thank you for the life lessons you are teaching me, I look forward to what's coming next on our journey together. Oh, and thanks for giving your dad a break with the whole peeing during the 30 seconds you are diaper-less. I know he appreciates it and I have to say I've never laughed so hard in my life the first time (every time) you did that. And thank you for bringing hope back into my life when I needed it so desperately, I had no idea it had been missing for so long until you came into my life.