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May 18, 2007

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phillippa

ugh. sorry. my max is that way during the day with naps. on the going out thing, i may be doing wrong, but with friends constantly in town, we go out anyway. i 'try' to lay low during the day, and then take him out for dinner, where he'll basically sleep or zone out. then whenever we get home, i take him through his routine of a bath - but very, very quick and without the usual splas around time, fast story, song and down. even if its 1am. it seemes to work ok and he slept 2am-9am the other day.

Gladys

Hi, new reader here :-) Must say that your home videos are absolutely cute :-) and what a lovely, precious baby :-)

cyn

my neighbor and friend just had thier third daughter. and the dad said, who knew in the end, it all comes down to sleep?? how true!! a schedule is good. mine tended to develop their own after a while. know their sleepy signs and sleepy times for sure. i stay home for their naps. don't mess with that! dd was never very portable anyway. a well rested baby is a happy baby--therefore a happier mom, too!

Mary Anne

hugs, we just finished really teaching Katy to sleep in her crib without a lot of fussing...hard, I know, but a few minutes of crying doesn't kill them..the mommmas heart...yes...but the baby, nope!
MA

Jiwon

First the baby carrier. I had the baby bjorn too at first. But I found it very hard on the shoulders. I've recently discovered the Ergo Carrier, and it is truly amazing! I've seen a lot of mothers around here use it as well, and they love it. A friend of mine also has something of similar concept, and swears by it, she brings it with her everywhere she goes. The weight is distributed evenly over the body, not just on the shoulders and back. I recently was able to go shopping with Avery in that carrier, and I had no aches anywhere. Check it out: http://www.ergobabycarrier.com/.

For the sleeping, I know every baby is different. But I followed the 2 hour rule that is mentioned in Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. And it worked like a charm on Avery. Instead of trying to read her, I would just watch the time. Just under 2 hours after she had last woken up, I would put her down, and magically she would sleep. I admit there was a little bit of crying involved, but I was always there to soothe her until she fell asleep. That book is like the baby bible to me. I still keep reading it, at every age group I go back to it.

Good luck with the sleep training, I know it's so hard. But if you keep at it, Max will learn.

Linda

Hi, I'm a new reader also. My baby only went to sleep if she was being held, resulting in many sleepless nights for me and my husband. My doctor suggested that I make a recording of me singing lullabies etc. and then on putting her to bed play the recording softly in the background. This worked from the moment we tried. Good luck.

Meg

ok, I'm going to have to pick up that book :) I'm like the queen of bad sleep habits. I hold my little girl all day (can you say major seperation anxiety? Hehe)... of course she naps no problem... But then night time comes around... and yea, we're basically doing the same thing as you. I found a trick for our little girl... I put her in the sling and bounce on my exercise ball. It takes about 20 seconds for her to zonk out.

Man, she hasn't even been put down in her crib yet and she's a month old. I wonder if I'm setting myself up for trouble...

Nicole

I am sure I have already told you that Ella was a TERRIBLE sleeper when she was little. By 4 months, I couldn't take it anymore and I used the Baby Whisperer advice for getting her on a strict schedule of napping during the day which helped us a lot. We needed to let her do some crying to learn to put herself to sleep but she seemed to figure it out pretty quickly. I think a really important thing to remember is that you need to stick to whatever method you are trying out for atleast 3 days, probably 5, before you can say that it hasn't worked. The first night we tried to let her put herself to sleep, it took 2 hours. The second night, an hour and a half, etc. But on the 5th night, she fussed for about 30 seconds and then it was over. We had to repeat this every once in awhile, but now, by the third night, she's fine again.

Lisha

oh, I don't have great advice, except to say that I have a Very similiar situation with my little guy, who is almost exactly the same age. We go out, almost as much as we normally would have, and sometimes it backfires big time and we have to get home because he is SCREAMING.

I was underestimating the amount of sleep he needs. Now I put him in his hammock (www.happyhangup.com) very often when I am home and turn on a cd of ocean waves. It's his happy sleepy place.
(I ended up reading your blog because you knit and had a baby at the same time I did. It's comforting to read, because my two neighborhood friends have quiet easy little baby girls)

Anne

Oooh - reading all this brings back not-so-fond memories...my first one was not a sleeper, and it took me awhile to figure out that I was causing it! "Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems" by Richard Ferber - great book and it worked! Good luck!
Anne

Jennifer

Hi, I have to second the commenter about the ergo baby carrier--that thing is a miracle. I still use it daily with my 16 month old and carry him in it on my back in the grocery store, for walks, etc. You might also look into a sling. I used a pouch style sling with my son from 6 weeks until about 5 months, then a ring sling to carry him around on my front or hip. Both were ways to sooth and settle him and he would often fall asleep in the sling. Good luck with the quest for sleep...and by the way, your son is beautiful!!

marilyn

Couple bits of advice here...
1. Swaddle. The "Swaddle Me" blankets are genious!
2. Stay home during naps.
3. Routine, routine, routine. Same song, same rocking, same book, same blankie, same whatever!
4. Don't give up. For my son, it always took a week of "sticking to the plan" before we made any headway.
I know its hard. I thought I wouldn't survive my son's infancy (and he is a twin, and we also had a 2-year-old at the time). But now he is a good sleeper and a highly entertaining 1-year-old!
Good luck with your little guy. It will get better!

PS. Knit BIG! (:

shakesrear

Hi, I have the same problem with the startle reflex with my 3-month-old. You should try swaddling Max with the miracle blanket (http://www.spot4tots.com), it really, really works. I only use it to get my baby to sleep, then I take it off and she sleeps all night.

It's funny about your long hallway. I'm always running all around my house with my baby too.

Chuck the baby bjorn. There are so many better solutions. I sent you the links for the wrap-type slings already. Or you could get the ergo like others have said.

Tracy

Absolutely agree with the Ergo carrier and a ring sling (I have a Maya wrap). And you can't hold a baby too much. Read some Dr. Sears (The Baby Book is great) and he talks all about attachment parenting which is based on holding as often as they want and carrying them in carriers. They develop security and then can seperate easier when they have to. I've never been a fan of the cry it out for sleep method, and my 3 and 1.5 year olds sleep fine now. I know this isn't for everyone, but I did the co-sleeping thing and would nurse at night, and we all slept better for it. It just takes a little time. I really enjoyed the "No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley. She writes alot about sleep associations and how to build those in so kids can put themselves to sleep based on routine. And check out the blog "Ask Moxie" (not sure the address right now, but google it and it's there). She has great advice about all kinds of stuff.

Hang in there. He's a beautiful boy and your instincts are right on. Don't do something that doesn't feel good and you'll feel better all around.

Sherry Ellis

Hang in there - the sleep situation will eventually get better. I think we've all been where you are at. I even wrote a book about it (That Baby Woke Me Up, AGAIN!) It took almost two years, but my baby is sleeping through the night now. I'm sure you really don't want to be sleep deprived that long, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel. What worked for me? Getting dad to be the last one to tuck him in for the night. Maybe that will help you. Good luck!

Pardon_My_French

Max is soooooo cute. I bet he gets lots and lots of kisses, huh. Interesting to read your post...we're not there yet although I'm trying to get Ella into a rhythm of sorts. Hang in there!

andie

I think babies get used to what we get them used to. I actually have the opposite philosophy of you in that before the age of 1, it's great because they'll fall asleep anywhere- car seat, stroller, baby carrier, floor- but after 1, they need their nap time and you have to plan around that. But, it wasn't easy to get both Gab and Louise used to falling asleep anywhere- Louise hated her car seat at first but now loves it. I think you just have to be persistant- it's difficult at first to hear them cry because they don't like their seat or their stroller, but they'll get used to it because that's what you as a parent have chosen. You shouldn't plan your life around not being able to go out because of sleep time- especially when they are SO easy to take out at this age. It's really when they are between 1 and 3 that a fixed naptime is important. Anyway, that's just me. I never read any book, but we've been lucky so far in that Louise has been a great sleeper at night, but less of a napper. I should, however, probably read a book for Gab who wakes us up at 6 am every morning!!

misschrisc

Hi Aimee I just started reading your blog more regularly. You have such a cute little guy! Absolutely adorable. I love him!! Anyway about the sleep thing I'd say after the first baby where I was a zombie I have decided to let the second one cio a little more after the newborn stage passes (and after she comes). I also vow to establish stricter sleep patterns. I have a toodler now who never naps and it makes life really hard because like you said they get cranky and terrible when they don't sleep. Of course everything works in principle, right? Good luck :)

gleek

hi there! new reader here :) looks like our babies are about the same age! i agree with an above commenter that the miracle blanket is awesome. i use it for all sleepy-times. just today i am trying laying our baby girl down to sleep with one arm out and giving her this lamb blanket that she likes to hold and suck on (never liked a pacifier or her thumb, yet). i hope this works. i wish she would self-soothe!

for me, the book that really helped was "secrets of the baby whisperer" by tracy hogg. she has a great eat/play/sleep routine that helps for babies. my girl really got it quick and has stuck to it for the past 6 weeks. i'm so grateful!

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