Since Maximilien's arrival it hasn't always been that easy for Julien. In the beginning, Max only wanted me. He wanted me to hold him. He would only sleep in my arms. It was beautiful and exhausting. For me. Julien waited patiently for his son to "take to him". Around when Max was 6 weeks old, Julien took him paternity leave from work and we went on a mini vacation to see Julien's grandmother. Max had his father's full attention for two weeks straight. I got to sleep. Things started to change after that. Max started to fall asleep in his father's arms. He started to recognize Julien's face though he already knew his voice long before. It was shortly after this that Max started to sleep through the night.
We started a new routine that in the mornings when Max would stir Julien would go and get him, change his diaper and bring him to our bed so I could nurse him. All three of us would lay together until Julien's alarm would go off and he had to get up to start his day. This morning moment is one I enjoy so much as I often watch my husband sleep while holding Max's little hand. Max is the blood link between Julien and I.
Another new routine we've started recently is that Max is put to bed by his father. As you may have remembered Max isn't having it when Mama puts him to bed for the night. Since Max is currently taking three naps a day (crazy!) with his last one starting around 5pm and he wakes around 6pm we've pushed Max's bedtime an hour at night so that Julien can come home and have that time with him. By 8pm, Max is bathed, fed and sleeping. Julien has gotten so good at putting Max down that he doesn't even cry anymore and welcomes sleep. It is truly amazing. Every night there are high fives of appreciation given as Julien and I know that this parenting thing is something we were both meant to do.
As easily as things are coming along for us now the thought of having a second child is being talked about again. Though Julien has been talking about it since Max was two weeks old, I've only been verbalizing my feelings seriously about it for the last few days. Thanks for all your thoughts on the matter in my last entry. I really appreciate all of you taking time to write to me and it has given me some perspective. I have decided to just listen to my body and my body says it's not ready. I was physically stronger when I became pregnant with Max and today I don't feel like that. And I would like to spend some one on one time with Max before a sibling is born to make sure he's ready too. He's my first. My special boy. I know having a second baby will be amazing but it is going to be different.
It is sweet that my husband is ready for another child. It warms my heart to know that he wants a large (maybe even larger) family like I do. I still sometimes see my husband as that young guy I met in English class 7 years ago. Carefree. Raving it up guy. And yet he impresses me with his natural parenting skills everyday. Babe, I hope you're reading this today... you're the best. I love you.
lovely post. my husband was not a natural with small babies and children, but he learned quickly and at a time when not so many men were doing baby baths, bedtimes, diapers, etc. I wonder how well we would have grown as a couple and as a family if he had been otherwise. I really think that the early care helped build the kind of trust his daughters and son have always had in him and I know it's part of why we've been together over 33 years. You seem to have the same close bonds and raising your child(ren) together will make them stronger and richer.
Posted by: materfamilias | July 31, 2007 at 17:24
Your family makes my heart all gooey. Great post.
Posted by: Lee | July 31, 2007 at 19:38
Hey, great kudos for Daddy! Isn't it great when men show their nurturing sides? Clearly you are both doing EVERYTHING right, and appreciating each other a lot in the process of discovering all this new stuff called "parenting".
Posted by: The Bold Soul | July 31, 2007 at 23:26
Isn't it the best...Tom has always done bedtime, baths and middle of the night crap(and since often Sarah is still up in the middle of the night once...I love that he doesn't mind it...pea size bladder!)
He once told a social worker that 2 am was his fav time of day with Jack...because I was sound asleep, and he got Jack all to himself!
Now, I would say he loves bedtime the best(he and Jack are reading aloud Harry Potter, Sarah loves the snuggles and well, Katy is just a snuggle bunny in her rocker with him!)
I love that Tom can take any baby, and calm it...so much better than I! It is a gift!
Mary Anne
Posted by: Mary Anne | August 01, 2007 at 04:26