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June 2008

On the way to the market today...

I overheard several people talking about Les Soldes. It's the time of year again apparently and I had no idea the sales had started again except hearing my fruit and veggie guy saying that he got a great pair of trainers this morning before arriving to work.  Even our nanny was a few minutes late meeting Max and I as she had made a quick trip over to the mall in china town to check out what was soldé

I have to admit that I do enjoy shopping at this time because things are actually reasonably priced for once. I will make a few trips to my favorite French brand shops like Comptoir des Cotonniers and Zadig et Voltaire to see what treasures I may find. Even places like Monoprix have really great items on sale, looking for another pair of Bensimon shoes? I may stop in and get that second pair of mary janes but in white this time. On verra...

I'll let you in on a little secret... the Printemps at Italie 2 has a little bit of everything on sale. In past years I have found amazing sales on jackets and shoes. My favorite jacket today is this lovely army green fitted ditty that I picked up a couple years ago from Comptoir des Cotonniers. I am hoping to find myself something as lovely this year... new shops on my radar? Petit Bateau. I have fallenl in love with their été tees. They are so light and flowy and just the right fit.

But for now... I am sure I will spend the day talking about Les Soldes with my customers and hoping to close up in time to have a peek on the way home tonight. I'll let you know what I find...

The little things...

There are so many little things I forget to write down.

- For instance, when I put my son down to sleep either at nap time or for bed for the nigh he lays content in his bed, clutching his dou dou, sucking his thumb looking at me. I stand at the door and blow him a kiss. He giggles and smiles and his eyes turn to little half moons, all the while his eyes stuck on me. I close the door and linger a moment. I can hear him sucking his thumb as he slowly turns over on his stomach to drift off to sleep.

- Every morning, if I am awake, my husband says Bonjour to me. His voice has this sweet sing songy-ness to it. If I don't hear the bonjour then I know it's a rough morning for him.

- I can say bisou and kiss to Max and he understands them both. He leans in and lets me kiss his forehead or cheek. When he wants to kiss me he leans in slowly so I understand what he's doing and he plants a nice big open mouth kiss on my cheek.

- Today, I asked Max to bring me the basket for the dishwasher. I had given it to him after I closed the dishwasher and told him that he could not crawl into it. He cried and walked off pouting. I placed the basket at his feet and walked back over to the dishwasher. I opened the door and asked him to bring me the basket. With out moving his eyes from the open dishwasher he crouched down, grabbed the basket and walked over to the open dishwater. I pulled the bottom rack out and pointed to where the basket needed to go and with his best aim he threw it there.

- Making dinner. I miss making dinner. Tonight, we are having roasted asparagus with garlic and olive oil. Pureed carrots and potatoes with herbs and cream. All from our organic basket this week. I just put a quick batch of homemade biscuits in the oven. Quiet dinner for two in 15 minutes... we definitely need to make this little moment a regular thing again.

I am sitting here listening to the machine à laver  turn going in and out of its spin cycles. This will go on for another hour and half.  I also have the distant crackling of the baby monitor playing in the background as I sit and wait for Max to wake up.  It's almost 11am and he's still asleep. He's sick. Fever. No appetite. All around miserable little boy. Probably teeth since he was crying in so much pain last night. Not even a cuddle from his mama made him feel better. Only the comfort of this two front fingers jammed in the back of his mouth and the whimsical singing of his father would calm him down. 

I type this entry from home. I should be in the middle of baking scones right now and preparing the day's veggies and fruits. But circumstances being, I have decided to close the tea house and take care of my baby today.

I feel guilty. Guilty that I have to wait for my son to be sick to take time to spend with him. Guilty that I am closing the business for one day.  What will a day's difference make? I guess we'll see at the end of this week.

I am living my dream and owning my own business. It is hard. It takes me away from so many things that I love. My husband. My son. My hobbies. My friends. All of those are pushed back to the secondary position as I launch myself into my dream.  I am still adjusting to it all.... I come home more often tired and ready for bed at 8pm.  Baby is asleep. Husband is engrossed in a book or his computer. All I can think about it putting my head down on my pillow. I wonder how I can change this little rut I feel like I am in? And you know what? I feel tired when I wake up in the morning. Makes no sense.

Max is growing like a weed. It amazes me how fast he learns things and copies Julien and I in our actions. I try to take a video of him everyday if I can. Just so I can remember because every parent I know tells me if goes so fast and so many things are so easily forgotten. My camera lays in its case waiting to be used. I keep telling myself that I will get back to it someday soon.

And there is the crying of a waking baby I have been waiting for... I'm off to take care of my mama duties today. A welcomed change from my recent new routine. Guilty or not... Max is worth it.