As I struggle with juggling all these new responsibilities I've learned that if I give a little I get a little in return. It has always been hard for me to ask for help. I like to try to do everything myself but as I am learning how to run my own business (with my husband) that I can't do it all by myself. I worked a 13 hour day on Weds and I was completely wiped out the next day. But things are starting to shift for us time wise, Maximilien has started the creche this week and it really has given me a breath of fresh air. Also, he is absolutely happy at the creche. When we stroll up to the door, he starts kicking his feet and bucking to get out of the stroller. He is so very happy to "go to school" everyday. He starts his day at 9am and that means I start my day at the tea house at 9am as well. Before I was starting an hour later and always felt rushed. Never had time to have breakfast and was always putting something in the oven right at the last minute. With this extra hour this morning, I've baked madeleines, had morning coffee and I have even found time to blog! Blogging is not a fundamental need for me but it gives me a break and I take pleasure in these few moments writing down what I'm thinking about.
Now that our lives are falling into more of a routine I find myself wanting to have another baby. Friends who have just had new little ones oblige me with visits so that I can get my baby fix but I see Max playing at home alone and I feel the urge to give him a brother or sister. I know what it's like growing up with siblings. Being the oldest of 5, I always had someone to play with or talk to. Never a boring moment in the Osbourn household, let me tell you... But then I try to foresee how I will be able to juggle it all. The tea house takes us a huge chunk of my time and I know that I would never be able to accord the second child the same amount of attention I was able to give Max. One of my commenters on Flickr once wrote that I loved Max too much not to have another child. At the time, I couldn't believe what she had written... but now 18 months later I feel that I could. This is not an announcement that we are expecting another child but it could happen someday soon. I hold my breath as I type this...
So, 4 days later after I started this entry I am ready to post it. I still love very much what I am doing with my life now. I love being a mother. I love being a wife. I want to be a better friend and a better time manager and I think all will be well.
Like clockwork, he woke up at 7am, played a bit in his crib talking to his stuffed animals and driving his playmobile motorcycle. Around 7:30am, he called out to me. Mama! Mama! Julien and I stirred and slowly rolled out of bed. Julien off to prepare his morning bottle and I went to my boy standing in his crib with the biggest smile on his face.
Today was Max's first day at the Crèche.
We arrived just after 9am. I parked the stroller out back and we climbed the stairs to where his class would be. We were greeted by the director and lead to where Max's classmates were playing. Max was introduced one by one to his care takers, 4 in all. A bunch of sweet natured ladies who quickly put me at ease. Max stood by my side looking at the other kids. Each of them had stopped playing to check out the new kid in the class. Right away Maximilien was attracted to the stash of dou dous. Oooh-ing and Ahhh-ing he went right over to admire them. Not daring to touch any of them. A little girl came over and handed her dou dou to Max and as if she had given him permission he grabbed another dou dou and gave it to her in exchange. For the next 10 minutes, Max went around distributing dou dous to his classmates. Then another new classmate arrived. He was having a harder time at adapting to the new routine of the crèche. He was very sad to see his mother leave. The new child went on to cry for a while and this upset Max very much. He stood in the distance watching the child cry. Looking for comfort he found me and laid his head on my lap and I pulled out his dou dous for him. He took both of them and went immediately over to the crying child and gave him one of his dou dous. The child took the dou dou and there was some kind of silent acknowledgment that that made him feel better. Max spent the next 10 minutes bringing toys and other dou dous to the boy to make him feel better.
Once the boy was feeling better, I could tell that Max felt better. He went off to play and check out his new classroom. A little later on in the morning, the upset classmate went to go lay down in his bed. Max saw this and was curious. He went over and crawled into the bed with him, again offering his dou dou to the boy. Both of them laid together sucking their thumbs.The cutest thing I've ever seen.
I ask myself is this kind of behavior taught? or is it instinctual? Max is a child that has never once said "no" to me or anyone else for that matter. He's never gone over to another child and taken a toy away. Toys have been taken away from him and instead of fighting for it back, he lets it go. Today, he spent the entire morning giving his toys and dou dous to the other children. Tears tickling my eyes, I smiled. That's my boy, the compassionate one.
Today, I met a delightful American gal named Juliet who is friends with my friend, Sarah. Who I must say is as equally delightful as well. Juliet and Sarah happened to come in at the tail end of a huge lunch rush. I was a bit flustered after cranking out 17 couvert today all in the span of an hour and a half. During this time I was quite lost in my work. I was on auto pilot making lunch, cleaning up, going through my scone recipe in my head while life on the other side of the bar was buzzing around me. Juliet captured perfectly what was going on on the other side of the bar while I was busy working in the kitchen. The funny thing is I was actually aware of all this going on. And it was such a pleasure to read her accout of this afternoon. This is a slice of life of my tea house.
I realize after reading Juliet's blog today that I want to remember these kinds of moments. Je n'ai plus la flemme*... blogging, I am back.
*lazziness aside.... I no longer feel lazy.