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January 12, 2009


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I sometimes have moments like this. Extremely bittersweet ones. The only explanation I can think of is that whoever is up there -- a Higher Being, a Comforter, God or Goddess -- presented us with the good/bad, sweet/painful, loving/hateful -- so many contrasts, so that we can appreciate the sweet moments even more, so that we can appreciate love even more. If everything was good and just and right, maybe we would become complacent. But because we can see the other side, and feel pain sometimes, every tiny drop of goodness is so very much appreciated. Love to you and yours in this New Year. Max is really handsome!


Aimee, you have me in tears. I think about this stuff so often, and I can barely fathom the depth of your loss and pain. It scares me to think of losing my mom, but your words and honesty give me comfort that when that day passes, I won't be completely alone in my loss. Keep creating those beautiful and special memories with Max - he's lucky to have you as his mama.

La Rêveuse

I know, hon. Me, too. You say it so well.

A Frugal Friend

You don't know me but I saw your comment on BLogHer about grieving your mom and I commented too.
I came here and read this post too. I cried the whole way through. My Mom died suddenly and unexpectedly 3 years ago also around the holidays. I had been married one year. My life had been quite charmed up until the moment you get that call that forever changes your life.

The 1 year anniv of losing my mom, I found out I was pregnant. I immediately knew it would be a girl......and I cried 2 months later as they told me my due date....it was my mom's birthday.

I understand so much of what you are going through - we are part of this club we never wanted to belong to. It's amazing how many people God brought into my life who have lost their parents at a young age. They are the only ones who understand, who could understand. Others just don't get that it will impact me forever. It hasn't ever happened to them....not just death, but a sudden tragic death. Totally and completely different.

I hold onto my baby girl and feel the same things...that this is what my mom must have felt like. I try to enjoy the moment through my tears.

Thanks for sharing - and no that you are not alone in your thoughts.


Aimee, your post moved me so much. Even though your mom is no longer around in body, she most certainly is with you in spirit. Max's delightful character and the wonderful relationship you have with your little one seem to me to be such tangible expressions of the love you and your mom shared. She taught you so much, things you'll continue to discover in the lifelong process of being a mother, wife, daughter, sister and tea-slinger. You are finding wonderful ways to manifest all the great things she nurtured in you and then to put them out into the world. I'm not religious, but this feels to me like a true blessing. Keep loving, keep remembering, keep shining! (P.S. I had the very great pleasure of having lunch at l'Oisive Thé and meeting you in November, a very memorable moment of my 2 weeks in Paris! You remain a real inspiration for me. Bonne Année to you, Max and Julien from Margaret in Ann Arbor.)


You are not alone. My mom died at the end of 2006 without much warning, and I still miss her so much. I miss most especially the sound of her voice. One of the things I've lost with her passing is access to the past. Every so often I want to ask a question about our family in Hawaii or Japan, and realize now that that door is closed forever. Please stay healthy and take care. Blessings to you and your family for an incredible 2009 (and beyond).

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