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February 26, 2010


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La Rêveuse

I'm proud of you. This is a good reminder for me, too. And I'm pretty sure the moral of this story is it's OK for me to eat another strawberry rice krispie bar. Heh.

Love you.


Good on you! Non-sleeping babies are so hard! (especially after one that does, I imagine).. Take care.

Mary Anne

Love you! ...lol, I remember telling mom after Katy was born...why do people do this...I don't like this...this just sucks...she is sweet, mom, but the rest just sucks...

yep, 3rd child...and that is how I felt.

This was the only thing about the birth vs adoption thing that was different for me...and I blame the crazy hormones...cause we all know that J&S weren't sleepers....



Wonderful post. I wish I'd read that before I had my second child, who was (and in some ways) continues to be a worse sleeper than her older brother. The lack of sleep was crushing but I still had high expectations of myself. I really wish I'd chilled a bit more and took a step back to view the larger picture. Thanks for sharing that, Aimee.


You are so right! I mentally beat myself up so much after the birth of my daughter too. Letting go and giving in can be so enlightening. :)


good, aimee. i am glad you found this place. i remember after i had the boys and plunged into such hard and dark ppd, i remember being so angry that i had twins, mad because it was not something i wanted or asked for or planned to do. it took some time, but when i finally settled into the knowing of them and that this was how it would be, always two to have and hold and, yes, juggle, well, it helped immensely. but i do wish mothers felt easier about speaking these words....we are so hard on ourselves, you know?

good for you, aimee. i think it is going to be okay now. hugs, amiee


i am glad to hear that you are feeling better. the first months of gemma's life were some of the hardest and darkest days...i hope the tide is turning for you and that you start enjoying it more and more.


This is a very wise message. I try to get myself to do this, but it is hard. I also find myself resenting my second child. He is difficult and extremely unpleasant to be around sometimes. It makes everything so much harder, especially with all the expectations after my easy first.

Good luck with this! I am still struggling with it.


Good for you for letting go. It's little steps but so worth it, isn't it?

Marie Adeline

such a beautiful most and a wonderful motherhood-humanity's declaration, thank you for sharing this intimacy, with such poetry
have a wonderful day


I like your new design! Trop mimi tes enfants!


I am living and working in NY away from my family and I work in a Korean-owned company. I came home last nite feeling very very lonely. It has been busy at work for the last few months and Ive been just working and working not getting a breath of fresh air..and had a disheartening dinner week before with my friend who equates quality of life with ivy education and money. A guy I've been seeing is in Boston but we hardly see each other now, cus i just donno how with my schedule... anyway I came home and thought of your old xanga entries and started reading them again. I just felt so relieved I wasn't the only one feeling all the things Ive been feeling (working with fellow Koreans...trying to figure out what my "career" is , living away from my parents, went through some "letdowns/disappointments", NY doesn't feel like a home yet, living in a small space, etc etc) and found encouragement in your story (even the ventings) and the comments left on them. Thank you much for writing: )


Beautiful! And so true. I would have loved to find such mamas, too, when my younger was a baby. Everyone acted like they were doing such a great job while I struggled with nursing every ten minutes and co-sleeping.


I hope you continue to feel better and do what's right for you and the babies. It's hard to remember for me now as I deal with teenagers, but each stage will pass. When you're going through it, it feels like forever.

Julie Vieux

Aimee, I'm remiss that we don't talk more often. And so sorry I'm not there for you like I should be. I still love you so much and consider you one of my closest and faaarthest friends. ;) Being a mom is pretty amazing, everything it takes you through and how it changes you. I'm so proud of you for coming to terms with your feelings and gaining perspective on your situation. It's great how you have healed so much already, and seeming so has Max.

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