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June 04, 2010

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Jennifer

I am so glad you posted again! I know how life can get the best of you but I have been checking in from time to time.

As for Max's new chair, we started using an old stool we inherited when we moved into this house. It was a low old-fashioned stool that is EXACTLY the right height for him at the kitchen table and he loves it.

Mary Anne

Ahh, 3...
It's a fun age isn't it...yep...my sweet little girl has some of the same kind of issues...except it is more hitting and screaming mimi fits.

4 is a wonderful age... :)
Mary Anne

The Bold Soul

From what I've heard of three year olds, they can be more difficult than when they're 2... so much for "terrible 2's", right? I suspect you're right, he's just testing his limits. And yours. You have to be the parent and set the boundaries, give consequences for unacceptable behavior, etc. I am sure it's unpleasant but it's for his own future good. I don't like it when my step-son acts out or when he gets mad when he doesn't get his way, but if we didn't set boundaries, he'd grow up to be intolerable and not too pleasant to be around. And he's really a good kid most of the time.

zemirah

I wonder if Max is tired? Maybe Alixe's night waking is disturbing his sleep too? I only mention it because in the photo you posted he looks quite exhausted (which could just as easily be from a long tantrum; of course I don't know!) Just wondering if his 'bad' behaviour is a way of lashing out because he's not getting his usual sleep at night.. I remember you said he was a great sleeper, so he might be suffering from not getting his undisturbed sleep?

In any case, they're both beautiful and I'm sure you're doing a great job :)

jadie

good to see you back on your blog! you've been severely tested these past six months, well, more like 14, huh?! the photos are splendid, and just having the moment to STEP BACK invaluable.

Susie

wow, your daughter is beautiful. I have followed your blog for a long time, but hadn't been reading for a while. Congrats!!!

Krystie

Mary Anne you are so right, it sounds to me like age-related behavior. It may also be related to stress as his sister grows older and requires so much attention from mom.

It's good to reinforce that it's wrong and why, but the consequences at that age need to be quite simple and related to the behavior. Pointing out the consequences (for example, if you do this, children won't want to play with you), how it makes the other child feel, and how it would make Max feel will work. Especially if coupled with giving Max an alternative behavior to do before he feels angry enough to act out (like stating how he feels rather than letting feelings build, moving to a different area, talking to an adult about the conflict). If necessary, have him sit next to a caregiver or Mama briefly until he shows he can be calm and understands that the behavior is not allowed. Bear in mind that age- and/or stress-related misbehavior often disappears on its own, so no need to think this is a personality trait, or to over punish or label a child who does these things.

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