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July 29, 2011

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Kate

Aimee, take a deep breath. The best news I can give you is that they are so young and forming new skin so rapidly as they grow, that those scars? They're going to probably fade to nothing over time. I highly suggest something like emu oil (I know a woman whose doctor recommended it for scar treatment/prevention). So, yes, it might look bad for a bit, but they're still so young they should be fine.

JChevais

My dermatologist told me that scars can be treatable in the first year. Try seeing one.

It would bother any mother. Honestly.

gleek

oh man. you know, i think that you feel this way because you know that in the states we have the chicken pox vaccine that prevents this. i hear so many parents here who say that it's stupid to have a vaccine for something that's not life threatening but i want to point them to this!! it may not be life threatening but it's uncomfortable, fast-spreading, and can leave marks. parents here have no idea how good we have it sometimes. makes me angry.

these are totally valid feelings. we love our kids. we hate to see anything happen to them! but with the situation you're in, you did the best with what was available. don't beat yourself up too much. xo

Alison

My daughter was left with a pit on her cheek when she had chicken pox. She's 16 now, and you can barely see it. I agree with Kate and JC: scars are treatable, and if you talk to your doctor or a dermato, you should be able to get a gel or cream to apply to them.

Hang in there!

Michelle E

I think it's completely normal given that you have 2 sick kids (and it's been how long now?), a business to run, and I'm assuming as such you're not getting enough rest. I'm usually a slob (unfortunately) and don't consider myself that vain, but Ella has a big scar on her neck from her surgery and although now it's gotten to the point where I see it as just something that makes her unique, at the time I was really upset about it. The garderie people looked at me like I was nuts about trying to protect it from the sun, lol. Seriously, who wants a permanent reminder of the suckiest time in your life, right? Not for her because she hasn't noticed it, but for me. So yeah, no one should hassle you for not wanting scars.

Do the best you can, do not beat yourself up for caring because I cannot imagine a mother who would not, and although I'm sure you know more about skin care than I do there are some things you can get at the pharmacy to help with scarring though I don't know how well they work. Some people swear by them. Big hugs. And my copy of Positive Discipline for Preschoolers just arrived in the mail today. I'll tell you if it's any good. ;)

Keep your chin up. It'll get better!

Sue

I think you are concerned for the welfare of your children...that's not vanity. When Alixe is sleeping could you put mittens on her hands to stop some of the scratching? You know like the ones they put on infants? Just a thought. Don't be too hard on yourself!

Aurélie

Aimee, there's nothing wrong with you! Of course, you care! That's what mothers do!

For the scars, take an appointment with a dermatologist. Till then, I use a cream sometimes which works quite good. It's Epithéliale A.H from A-Derma (crème réparatrice Acide Hyaluronique 0,2% Visage et corps Répare les peaux abîmées). Ask your pharmacist if it's appropriate for kids. Hope it helps.

And for the kids, don't be angry with them (and don't be angry with you!). They don't realize. I'm not a mother but I understand what you must be feeling. I think all you can do is being there for them and keep them occupied. It's a stressful situation for you all but you'll get through it!

La Rêveuse

He may be defiant, argumentative and non-obedient, but he is independent, thoughtful, and has his own mind. Rather that than a sheep--your son is an amazing child and he is developing as he should, though it's frustrating as hell (I totally relate--you know Rowan.)

I understand all of what you're feeling right now--I had a boat load of guilt when Rowan got her first mole because I forgot to put sunscreen on her. But, we can't protect them from everything, and they will get scars and broken bones. It's hard to see, but it's life. He'll likely heal well and in a few years you won't even see them. The body constantly renews itself--I have a friend who was burned 3rd degree over 90% of his body (explosion). He was supposed to have died. Today, you wouldn't even know by looking at him. It's amazing what our bodies can do.

It's not bad to feel this way, it's completely understandable. You are a wonderful mother; just really hard to know how little we can control, isn't it? This time it's chicken pox, but it could have been salmonella (why did I let him eat X?) or a broken bone (how could I have let him climb that tree?)

He's going to be OK. Don't let the scars be evidence of anyone's failing--they're not. They're a part of life. It's OK.

Love you.

reese

I'm with Gleek about not beating yourself up about this. You're a mother. You love your children. Of course something like this would bother you. There's nothing wrong about being angry about this.

Margaret

Huge, huge hugs. It would be such a hard thing for any mother to see - we cherish our little ones' perfect skin so much. And you are still in the thick of it with Alixe so it is no wonder that the frustration and fear of the situation feels so overwhelming.

For the scarring, you can try vitamin E oil; it was recommended to me when my kids were exposed to cp, to use as soon as they have crusted over.

I hope Alixe's pox pass quickly! And I am so glad you're going on vacation soon - it will do you a lot of good. <3

Carrie

oh Aimee, I'm so sorry. I would feel the same way. I was actually feeling pouty last night about some scars on my knees that won't go away - it's a totally normal way to feel, and especially because you're a mom who loves her kiddos. I agree that will probably fade some - I had some scars from chicken pox as a kid that faded over time. sending hugs your way.

Mary Anne

hugs honey...yep, I get that feeling...and it is normal....very normal....and ok.

I like the idea of a dermatologist, just to see what they suggest. Our surgeons have always said vitamin E for Katy's scar, and it does help.(no hope to make it go away, without reconstruction...)

love you,

MA

keri

How tough! I would feel the same way!

As a natural solution -Helichrysum EO has a very good healing/scar removal properties. I have terrible hormonal acne and it removes the pits and divits from my face. That eo is really expensive so I buy it pre-blended as a facial oil from mountain rose herbs. They make a wild rose healing facial oil that works wonders for healing scars. good luck! :)

Caroline

I felt so upset about the tiny scars on my son's face after he had chicken pox, but I decided that probably everybody our generation had chicken pox and nobody looked disfigured. One of my friend mentioned to me when I told her my son had chicken pox that she had a scar on her face and proceeded to have me look at it. Seriously, you couldn't see anything. A little blemish maybe but everybody has something. So, I decided to not let it bother me so he wouldn't focus on it later and show for all purposes non-existant scars to people. A year later, you can't see them anymore. Since then, one of his friends pushed him on the ground at school and he splits his chin opened. Thinking about it, I see a lot more male adults with scars, like they split something opened when they were kids, than with pox marks. Putting stuff into perspective, boys will be boys and, as upsetting as scars are, they are part of life. So, I wouldn't worry about the pox. Maybe a few bad vacation pictures this year but it will soon be forgotten.

Regan Dulin

Aimee, you sound frustrated! Understandably so. Thee pediatrician I worked with suggested mederma for kids (safe) or simply vitamin E oil rubbed in on scars. You can get the gel caps vit E and pierce it with a pin then rub the oil on the scars. Kids skin does heal faster, so little Alixe probably won't scar much. I admire all you do, keep up the good work!

Miss M.

My daughter had very bad chicken pox with bad scars on her back and butt, but after a year you can't see them anymore and I didn't put anything on it! So have faith in the future and visit a dermatologist, they will probably be fine growing up. Take care!

Doc

Matthieu has two scars do the same thing, and while they are huge neon signs to me, most people actually have to look for them.
When the girls got the pox two weeks later (we had all three decorated for Christmas--so pretty), we kept their nails cut down to the quick. makes it a bit harder to do damage.
Matthieu, the poor bugger, was allergic to the antibacterial wash we had for him. Puffed his poor head up. He could hardly open his eyes.

The Bold Soul

Look up Mederma on the internet, it's a scar-treatment cream (there is a gel too). Not sure it's sold in France but I found it online in Belgium and had it shipped. Not cheap and it takes months of regular use, but if the scars end up being bad, perhaps it might at least reduce their appearance.

Annette

Hi Aimee,
I don't know if this blog will reach you now that 6 months have gone by, but I discovered your blog after having recently experienced chicken pox with my two younger kids. Thank you for your blog, it made me feel like I am not crazy for feeling the same sense of frustration. I have done extensive "google" research and have come across one particar site that was full of helpfuli information backed up by scientific studies. Apparently scars can take up to a year and a half to completely heal and you can help them heal better. Can I ask you how your son's scars have healed?

By the way your blogs are so candid and refreshing, you have inspired me to start a blog about my wonderful family.
Thank you for being an inspiration.
Annette

I hope this helps
http://www.squidoo.com/how-to-reduce-scar-redness

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