PutYourFlareOn

Looking for grandfather online

Maximilien knows that if I open my laptop he can see his Halahboji, Sam Cheon or Emo via video chat. This evening he was searching for his Halahboji online but we didn't find him. So, instead we made a video message for him and hope to catch him online very soon.

Two Years

Dear Max,

You are two years old today. Typing this out makes me pause for a moment and think back to your birth day. I remember not being about to sleep at all the night before. Knowing the day you were going to come into this world had been a comforting thought. I was excited for your arrival and sleep was the last thing on my mind. The end of my pregnancy wasn't the typical count down to your predicted due date instead it was like me being 6 years old again counting down the days until Christmas. You, of course, being the best gift I've ever received. I can remember clearly the day I brought you home. We hadn't bought a car seat for you yet so your Dad drove home my luggage and your bags while I walked you home from the clinic in the stroller. Looking down through the window in the canopy you looked so tiny. Today, you can turn and reach your hand up to mine and the days of being a stroller baby are rapidly coming to an end.

The day I brought you home, I remember riding up the elevator with you snuggled in my arms. You were awake and very alert. You were taking in all the new surroundings. I paused at our front door and told you, "welcome home, my son". Today, you know how to use the key to unlock the door to our building. You dash over to push the button to call the elevator. When we arrive at our door, instead of me being the one opening the door for you, it is you that demands to be the first one in.

Last night, I picked you up early from the Créche so we could go kick dirt together and chase pigeons in the park. "Bird" and "Tree" and "Woo woo!" (for dog) are a few of your favorite words. I stood back and watched you run, trip, pick yourself up and go again. My big baby is becoming a big boy. I ran after you so that I wouldn't miss a moment of our afternoon play date. Know that I will always be running after you, my son. We fell asleep in Mama and Daddy's bed tonight, you wrapped your little arms around me and hugged me. Patting my back and holding me tight as you fell asleep. The grip loosened and I snuggled you close.  I whispered in your ear that I'll always be here for you because I am your mother.

I try to remember my life before I became a mother and it's all starting to become a blur.  Being a mom to these past two years has really shown me that I have found my path in life. I am grateful for this gift you have given me, Max.

2 years of Maximilien from PutYourFlareOn on Vimeo.

I made a little photo video for your birthday and it was such a pleasure because each photo took me back to the day each moment was captured. One photo for each month of your life. With Shel Silverstein singing one of my favorite poems of all times.

Maximilien, you are loved. Your father and I are so blessed to have you in our lives. Do you know that every night before we head to bed we go into your room and watch you sleep? Smiling, we watch you as you dream... the love we have for you washing over us ten fold.  Never in a million years would we have thought that we could love someone as much as we love you.  

Happy, Happy Birthday my boy... 

Love,

Mama

Somewhere along the way he learned to say Thank You...

Actually Merci. Just this week I've been hearing Max say, "Merci" when I give him things. I wasn't quite sure what he was saying as toddlerese can be hard to decipher at times. But yesterday, I gave him something and I said to him "thank you" and he responded with "Merci".

Though it sounds more like Ah-chi. And sometime he says it in English and it comes out as "Ah-choo". Very cute all the same. Sure does make this sick day much better hearing him say it to me all the time. Like after I wipe his nose for the millionth time.

What we do when we're not sleeping...

I haven't posted a video in a while. Just haven't had time to think about getting the camera out until today. Here's a little clip of Maximilien and I playing on the floor in his room. He really loves the perspective. I often catch him laying on his back staring out the window. Today, we worked on his balance and I wanted to show him that it's okay to fall down.  He's getting braver everyday. He's started dive bombing everything with in his reach.  And he is still all about tasting the world around him.  I love how he looks over to me like he's saying, "Mama, watch this!" or "Look what I can do".  Everyday is a new adventure for us. Even though I lack sleep I somehow find the energy to do the mom thing.  Just looking at my son fills me with this energy I've never had before. 

Sitting up, getting stronger, being braver from PutYourFlareOn and Vimeo.

Sleep, where are you??

I've been trying to teach Maximilien the art of sleeping. He needs it. We need it. When he gets a lot of it he's such a happy baby. When he doesn't, the old man face comes out and then the scary baby.  I've been reading Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. Well, I've been skimming it and just reading the parts that pertain to Max. I've gotten to the part that explains how to get your baby on a healthy sleep routine. Even at this age they need stability or else they go crazy with over tiredness.  I couldn't understand why it was so hard for Max to get to sleep. I would notice that he was batting his ears and rubbing his eyes. For me that meant bed time. I was wrong. Bed time was probably about 15 to 30 minutes before the rubbing of the eyes and I had missed my window of opportunity.  When I'd try to sooth Max to sleep after he'd already been rubbing his eyes, it would literally take me two hours and sometimes longer to get him to sleep. It would have to be a combination of nursing and then fast walking up and down our long hall way (boy, are we glad to have that now) to get him to finally calm down. 

Sleepy, Sleepy... from PutYourFlareOn on Vimeo
May need to turn the volume up.....

A couple times I would notice that he would be in a rather calm mood. Not really interacting just sitting there with a very pensive look about him.  I would pick him up and rock him a bit, sing to him and POOF! He fell asleep. Those are the good days when I can catch his "pre-zzz" signs. The bad days are when we're out just a bit too long and I miss my window to put him down and then the screaming banshee comes out and I'm left walking up and down the hallway until Julien gets home where he'll take over because my back is killing me. 

My beef is how do we go out with Max if he has to follow such a strict sleep schedule.  Going out throws everything out of wack for him. He is sensitive. He does not like his stroller. He hates laying on his back.  He hates his car seat.  The baby bjorn is an option but it's hard on my back. He weighs 6.7 kilos (14.7lbs) now.  He wants to be held all the time. The latter doesn't really bother me that much because I LOVE holding him.  I know I'm probably making a mistake but whatever it's my first kid. I'll learn later. Anyway, if I don't keep him on his strict sleep schedule he will turn in to monster baby and not sleep and that means I don't sleep and I'll going crazy again. 

So, tonight I am trying something new. As I type this I put Max down in his crib and let him fall asleep by himself. I wound up his mobile and let it play. He layed there listening to it and cooing softly. After the music stopped he started to cry. I let him whimper a bit but it built up to the I'm-not-going-to-breath-crying and at the moment he did that my brother who I was skyping with says to me, "isn't it bad to let a baby cry like that?" He could hear Max crying through the wall over skype all the way in Seoul, Korea. *sigh* I hung up with my brother and picked up Max. Breastfed him, calmed him down and he fell asleep in my lap. I put him in his crib and he woke up crying again. I played his mobile for him yet again and would let him kick it out until he fell asleep. I forced myself to shut the door and let him cry.

And to my surprise he suddenly fell asleep. On his back. Oh, another thing, he only sleep on his stomach. I mean really sleeps. If he sleeps on his back he startles himself awake and then can't get back to sleep. So, there he was sleeping on his back. I had the baby monitor turned up and I waited to hear if he'd wake up. And he did. So, again I went to his crib, lowered the bar and sat next to him, saying nothing, rubbing his back and played him his mobile again. And I put him on his stomach and he fell right to sleep.

It's 6:45pm. He's been asleep for 15 minutes. Will it last?

++++++++++

7:00pm. Julien just got home. Max woke up crying as hard as his little body could. L'armes de crocodiles.   I couldn't resist I picked him up.

Ok, back to the drawing board, I guess....

+++++++++++

Just wanted to add, when he finally does go down. He sleeps for 8 hours straight. But it takes us hours to finally get him down. I don't understand why it takes so long... Thank god, Julien is home... my back needed the break.

+++++++++++

Nearly three hours after Julien got home, Max finally went down. He sat on my lap while I ate dinner. Julien rocked him up and down the hallway and he went down at 10pm. I'm obsessing about this sleep thing.

This is my life now. :)

 

 

All smiles

Chillin' in my armchair from PutYourFlareOn on Vimeo

10 pairs of my shoes find themselves a new home....

I'm no longer a size 39 (size 8) anymore. The pregnancy left my feet a half size bigger. 10 pairs of shoes have a new home now...

The loss of 10 pairs of shoes... from PutYourFlareOn on Vimeo

I tell my husband the sad news and he says to me, "Let's get some shoes!" Ah, he *so* understands me. :)

At our house, we're all about the bathroom humor.

At our house, we're all about the bathroom humor. on Vimeo

Listen carefully after I ask Max if he's feeling better?

That my friends, is the man I love, farts and all!

L'etat de Nous*

Julien is on paternity leave for two weeks. Thank god, I need him!  Though, things have gotten easier in the past weeks and I am used to the breastfeeding, taking care of baby thing, changing diapers, bathing, etc... I am still struggling with the lack of sleep. I feel recharged after getting a good three hours but it's a faux recharge as soon after I feel my feet dragging and have a hard time focusing again.  So now that Julien is off work he's living at Maximilien and I's pace and I think he's realizing how hard things really are. But he is also realizing  how amazing and rewarding it can be too. Just tonight after two failed attempts to get Max to sleep, I gave up and took him to bed with me. I breastfed him and before I knew it he had been on the boob for over two hours. I'd say more like three judging how floppy my boob felt after I woke up.  When I fall asleep with Max in bed I call if fake sleeping because I'm not really asleep, I think my body lets me rest a little but doesn't let me sleep to protect Max.  Julien came in to check on us and I was cranky as hell and wanted real sleep. He took Max to the living room and I tried to sleep. Max cried for a while and I covered my head with a pillow and tried to shut it out so that I could give my two boys time together.  The mamas out there can relate it's hard hearing your baby cry. I had to hold everything in me to keep myself from running out to him. But before I knew it, I had slept 5 hours straight something that hasn't happen in a long time since we've come home from the clinic and Julien had gotten the boy to sleep on him for the first time. I could tell he was proud and happy when he brought him back to me so that I could feed him. He gave me Max and in a dazed state and announced he was off for a shower. This is our life at 2:30am. 

I'm really glad that Julien waited to take his paternity leave now. I think Max is more aware of the two people in  his life right now. Of course, he knows me but I think he's realizing there is someone else here who's just as equally important.  There is something in his eye that I see when he looks at Julien like he's putting two and two together:

Bath time on Vimeo

Just now as Julien laid down to sleep he annouced how he was looking forward to sleeping in. I laughed. Sleeping in? Yeah, right. He has no idea that those days are way over, at least for a couple years.  Funny how I can joke about it now but seeing Max's little face when I reach over to pick him up in the middle of the night makes me forget how things like sleeping in on the weekend used to be so important to me.

*The state of Us.

 

Playtime with Maximilien

Playtime with Maximilien on Vimeo

Max discovers high contrast images. Watch how he focuses on each image and then reacts.  He particularly like the target image, it must remind him of something famliiar *wink* and the piano image. Maybe a future musician?

And you'll notice that Max is already wearing a little KU Jayhawk.  He's got the waving of the wheat down pact, I'm not surprised he's got crimson, blue and gold in his genes. :)

Weedy Banter

Witness a typical daily conversation between my husband and me.

"I'm so weedy" on Vimeo

Plus fort que moi

I've just cleaned the pantry. Emptied everything, wiped the shelves down and re-organized it. I never do this.

Nesting? Yes, I think so.

Here's what Julien thinks:

Transforming mom into a cleaning lady... on Vimeo

Julien says: "Merci, mon fils. Tu as transformé ta mère en cleaning lady. Pas besoin d'en embaucher une. J'en aurai une à la maison.  C'est merveilleux. Je ne croyais pas que celà serait possible mais tu as reussi l'impossible. Tu n'est pas encore né et tu es deja merveilleux. " 

Thank you, son. You have transformed your mother into a cleaning lady. Now I don't need to hire one, I have one at home. It's great! I didn't think it would be possible but you have accomplished the impossible.  You're not even born yet and you're already marvelous.

The Belly Attacks

The Belly Attacks on Vimeo

Julien says: "Elle est folle, ta mère",  Your mom is crazy!!