PutYourFlareOn

My daily pick me up

Before I became a mother, I wondered if being a mother would be for me? I really didn't question myself much after Maximilien was born due to the sheer joy I felt every time I held my baby.  I was a mama and being a mama was for me.  And even now when he's 20 months old, I still feel the joy picking up my son or seeing him play, run and say his first words.  And I know that this feeling will last well until my son is grown... even when he doesn't want mama's kisses anymore or I can't hold him because he will outweigh me.

I carried Maximilien home last night from dinner and I realized that I don't do that much anymore because he's walking everywhere now. I reminded myself to take advantage of the fact that I can still carry him now and that I should do it more often. Last night we read books before bed and snuggled and then Max says to me "kiss Mama, kiss Mama" and push his squishy cheek to my face. With his little baby hands, he pulled my face close again and again for more and more kisses.  I could feel the love exploding from my heart and washing over us in fits of giggles.  Moments like this is what it's all about...

Julien took this video of Max last weekend riding the line 14 on his way to his grandmother's house. I just wanted to share with you a bit of the joy of Maximilien. His wonderment is genuine. His smiles melt the heart. His words amaze me, though hard to understand right now. This is our life right now. And I'm so grateful for it.

Maximilien prend le métro from jagerog on Vimeo.

I have been sitting here trying to figure out a title for this blog entry and nothing is coming to my mind. I have been pretty lax on my blogging lately. Yes, I have been busy but I have had time in the evenings to blog. I often log into Typepad and stair at the Compose New Post page and my fingers are stuck. The ideas I had to blog about during the day when I'm busy baking or serving tea are all lost to me.  No time to jot them down in my moleskine. Fingers often covered in scone dough or cookie batter so I can't type. And then sometime I blog block myself by thinking that what I have to say is uninteresting and who would be interested in what I have been up to?

I think I'm just too much in my head and just need to write down my thoughts so I can access them later in time.

 - Today, I walked down a freshly rain soaked cobblestone sidewalk on my way to the tea house carrying a bouquet of sunflowers, two freshly baked baguettes and today's Le Parisien.

 - I met two readers of my blog today. One person a lurker from San Francisco who has never commented on my blog who found my through another friend's blog who had linked about the tea house.   The other visitor a woman and her husband from Vancouver who has been reading my blogs for years and leaves the most wonderful comments some which have really helped me through some dark times in my life and brought smiles to replace the tears.  I was thrilled to meet her. Hugs were given. She knit and enjoyed my homemade carrot cake. Really lovely to put a face to the familiar name that often appears in my comments.

 - I baked cream scones today. Seriously, these are the best scones I've ever made. I also learned from a customer who happened to be from Australia about Devonshire Tea. I am going to rename my Thé Gourmand, Devonshire Tea instead. And perhaps I will adapt the Aussie way to pronounce scone as /skɒn/ like as in John. Just because it's so cute. But I will not be making Vegemite scones as the woman suggested I could. My taste buds have not yet gotten used to the unique taste of Vegemite.

 - I thought about how I am a mother. Last weekend was mother's day in France and to hear my husband wish my Bonne Fete de Mamans made me feel really good. This role of mother is the most natural role my life has taken to date.  Through all my fears and worries in the beginning I can easily say that I am really glad that I became a Maman when I did. It was the hardest period of my life. I had just lost my mother and knowing myself I had to challenge myself. Challenge myself to advance and live life. And I knew that my mother wouldn't want it any other way.

Just a few of my thought today... enough to blog about? Who knows. But I do want to remember these moments.

30 Days :: 30

Today has been a rather long and surreal day. I had resolved myself to think one thing and at the end of the day it changed after finding out some news that will change our lives drastically. In a good way, of course. 

We celebrated. Just Julien and I. Max slept. We ate a homemade dinner and watched tv. Put raspberries in our champagne and looked at each other feeling the same thing. Relief.

This is the end of my 30 day photography project and it's quiet coincidental that on the last day of this project we got the news we've been waiting for.

I bet you're wondering what the heck is going on?

I'm feeling a bit tipsy after having one too many glasses of champagne to write the entire story here, right now. So on that note, I leave you but with a promise of a good story tomorrow.

Everyday Life: 22 weeks

22 weeks, originally uploaded by PutYourFlareOn.

 

Home sweet home?

We're in St. Louis!    My dad and Julien are still sleeping. I'm sipping what the French would call jus de chaussette  and have been up knitting since before 6am this morning.   My internal clock was saying get up it's afternoon.  Jet lag has always been something I could never beat. It's nice to be back but strange at the same time. People are louder and taller. Everything is just so huge here.   I can't believe how surprised I am every time I come back.   United lost one of our bags but delivered it to the house at 2am this morning. I doubt that would ever happen in France. *grin*   It's good to see my Ah-ppa and just to be close to him. I can't wait to see my siblings in a couple weeks. They are flying in from all over the US to see us, we're so lucky.

So, St Louis is my "home" away from home.  I live in Paris now and finally feel like I want to call it home. We're having a baby and starting our family. I think I'm figuring out this growing up and starting your own life thing.  With all that's happened to me in the the past year, I've really learned to take advantage of what I have right here, right now.  Before I felt like I was always waiting for something to come along, that feeling of uncertainty always left me with a feeling of wanting and incompletion.  With a our baby boy coming early next year and seeing how my relationship with Julien has evolved, I feel confident that I can do this grown up thing I was always so scared of.  I feel Omma sending me messages and I see and hear them loud and clear.  I know understand that my life in Paris right now is where I'm supposed to be.

Knitting in Public

Underground Knitting
Originally uploaded by PutYourFlareOn.

I'm planning on doing some knitting in public this weekend. Saturday is the second anniversary of The World Wide Knitting in Public Day.  Will be meeting up with the girls and slathering on the sunblock to enjoy a leisurely afternoon in the park.  Where will you be knitting this weekend?

If you're in Paris and would like to join us, drop me an email and I'll let you know the details.

It's good to get away...

Vacation Feet
Originally uploaded by PutYourFlareOn.

to recharge one's senses...

Procrastination Monday

Where my procrastinating mind has been today...

Conjugate This

Pixelgirl

Cafe-mode

De Battre Mon Coeur S'est Arreté

Cozyroom

***

On my procrastination to do list:

-Nardac's Shoe Meme

-The OC aka. Newport beach for the Frenchies

-Find myself a convertible bra